4 Ideas All About Building a Better Marriage
Simple Tips For Building a Strong Marriage Foundation
Building a better marriage.
This is something I am guessing most of us have thought about at one time or another.
But what does that actually mean?
What does it really look like to actively build a better marriage?
First off, let’s not get hung up on the word better.
One could argue that the idea of better could just go on and on forever. In a way, that is true. And also not necessarily a bad thing.
I think the real secret is to create a marriage that makes you feel good. One that brings you joy. A relationship that fills you up.
That’s what it’s all about. Building something that you are proud of.
Every marriage in the world will go through ups and downs. I don’t think there is a marriage out there that is firing on all cylinders all the time.
Maintenance is a natural and important part of a marriage. This needs to be talked about more.
Do you know where most marriages exist? The middle. At least that’s what I call it.
Yes, like I just mentioned there will be an ebb and flow that happens. Highs and lows are part of the gig.
But most of your marriage (and life in general) will sit right there in the middle. Like a random Wednesday.
So how can we create some really good Wednesdays? Spoiler alert… it’s not by always looking forward to Friday.
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Here Are 4 Tips All About Building a Better Marriage
1) Focus on Yourself
In marriage, there can be a little morphing. Two people morph into one. Not intentionally.
But it can happen.
A requirement of entering a relationship is not to lose yourself. It’s not to completely disregard the fact that you are a complete person separate from your marriage.
You are important.
And what do you think happens when you focus on yourself? What would happen if you made yourself a top priority?
Good things would happen. That’s what!
You fill your cup and you work on yourself and you find personal joy.
This will allow you to show up so much better for your relationship.
Encourage your partner to do this as well and your relationship will grow and thrive beyond belief.
P.S. If you are a book lover, check these personal growth books out!
2) TRY Not to Compare
Heavy emphasis on the word try. Comparing is second nature. We just do it. We skip go and jump right to it.
Comparing is basically like seeing the cover of a book and coming up with some strong assumptions right then and there. Just from the cover.
Now, I am a book worm so I love looking at the covers of books. (and of course, I actually open the book and read the inside)
But the cover does not give you an accurate representation of what is on the pages of that book.
Social media plays a gigantic role in this. The internet gives us endless chances to get sucked into a comparison trap.
Here’s the thing. Social media is not the standard you should compare any aspect of your life against. Especially not your marriage.
Comparison can lead to a mindset of “I’ll be happy when”.
This is a trap. It is a sticky web that we can really struggle to break free from.
So many things we see are the exact things people want us to see.
And if we look hard enough, we can always find ways our relationship falls short.
3) Remain Curious About Each Other
Over time, the curiosity faucet can get clogged. We can start to function on autopilot.
This may seem harmless at first. But real damage can come from this.
Be excited to learn about each other.
Think back to when you were dating. You wanted to discover more and more about your partner. It was exciting to really dig in and peel back the layers.
As time passes, people change and grow. I am not saying that you or your partner are going to wake up next Tuesday as completely different people.
What I am saying is that there is more to learn about each other. And from each other.
Do we ever know someone fully? Do we ever know it all? I like to think we don’t.
I like to think there is always something new or something surprising or even something weird we can find out.
Don’t forget that your spouse is also your friend. Ask open-ended questions on a regular basis to keep that friendship (as well as your relationship) in a happy and more importantly healthy place.
By the way, this book on love languages is a great way to find out more about your partner.
4) Be Open To…
Outside help. Be open to help in any form you can get your hands on.
A mistake so many of us make in relationships (and on a personal level), is thinking we can handle it all.
And while that is true for many things, it is most definitely not always the case.
Here is your reminder that your relationship does not need to feel completely broken and on the brink of divorce before you consider therapy or counseling.
Get ahead of struggles before they become big and scary and seemingly insurmountable.
If there is a recurring issue or challenge that continuously trips up your marriage, a new perspective may be just the thing to help you and your partner navigate a path through. It may be just what you need to move that roadblock over little by little.
There are also many many amazing books or podcasts that can be tools for your marriage.
Let’s shine a positive light on and celebrate resources that our marriages could benefit from.
Your marriage is just that. Yours. Well, you and your partners.
Feed it. Water it. Nurture it.
Treat it as a valuable asset because it most definitely is a very valuable asset.
If you are unsure of where to start, ask yourself the question I mentioned earlier.
What does a better marriage really mean to me? Now, here is the kicker. Take the time and space to actually answer the question.
Questions are so much more interesting than statements!
Have any ideas on building a better marriage? Do tell!
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