How To Be Kind To Yourself

How To Be Kind To Yourself: 9 Simple Ideas To Try

how to be kind to yourself

Simple Ways To Show Kindness To Yourself

We are going to talk about how to be kind to yourself. 

Let’s take a deep breath. Relax our shoulders and get a little cozy. (if you can)

It might seem as if a conversation about showing ourselves kindness would be light and lovely. But that’s not always the case.

This topic can be a heavy one. 

I think we all know that we should be kind to ourselves. But the execution for this is not always so simple. 

Being kind, compassionate, and understanding can be second nature when it comes to how we treat others. The same is not necessarily true for ourselves. 

Still, we deserve kindness as well. It may just take a little more effort and intention to get there. These ideas are here to help jumpstart the journey. 

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Here Are 9 Tips All About How To Be Kind To Yourself

1) How’s Your Inner Voice?

I’ll go first.

For one reason or another, I am my harshest critic. I know I’m not the only one. My inner voice (call her mean Mary) is quick to put me down. Quick to get stuck on a mistake or perceived flaw. She is so darn critical.

Now, it is much better than it used to be. But that did not happen by accident. It took inner work. It took persistence and consistency. 

One way to practice this is by allowing yourself to feel and express all emotions. Many times, emotions can be labeled as good or bad. The good is welcome and the bad is unwelcome. 

But one way to improve how we treat ourselves and talk to ourselves is to accept that emotions are not good/bad or right/wrong. 

Like every other person out there, you are also a human being. Which means you will experience a range of emotions all the time. 

When you start to harp on yourself, remind yourself that it is perfectly ok to feel sad, mad, jealous, or frustrated. (or any other emotion under the sun)

2) Realistic Expectations

Want to know something I used to do that always set me up to be disappointed in myself?

My list of things to get done in a day would look like a grocery list. Totally unrealistic expectations of what I was capable of doing. 

When it comes to expectations or goals, it is best to go with small and achievable. This greatly enhances the chance of accomplishing what you set out to. 

Another part of this is celebrating small wins. So often we put off celebrating or recognizing achievements until we made it to the big one. We want to reach the peak before we acknowledge anything. 

Celebrating often is like lighting an invisible motivation fire under your belt. Doesn’t it also seem like a much more enjoyable way to enjoy life?

3) Take Care of Yourself

We should all be taking as good care of ourselves as we possibly can.

Now, that sentence might get people a little flustered. And I get it. Taking care of yourself will look different in different seasons of life. 

However, this is not something that should ever be completely thrown to the waste side. 

Sometimes, it may look like just sticking with a few basics. Drinking enough water. Eating nourishing foods. Prioritizing sleep(when you can). 

In some seasons, it may look like moving your body in a way that feels good or even meditating. 

It can be helpful to literally ask yourself questions out loud. (or you can write them down…just make sure you answer the questions)

Am I taking care of myself? How well am I taking care of myself? Are there areas that need some attention?

4) Journal

Are you an avid journaler? (is that even a word…either way we are going with it)

I happen to be an avid journaler. 

For as long as I can remember, journaling or writing of any sort has been an outlet for me. A way to empty my brain out. Express and process emotions or experiences I am going through. 

Writing, especially when it is just for ourselves, can feel much safer than speaking words out loud. It can be a place that allows complete rawness and honesty.

That’s a good thing. Part of striving to be kind to yourself is being honest about anything and everything. Holding things in can wear us down over time. Or we just hit a breaking point and all bets are off. 

Grab a journal and see what comes of it.

A journal also presents the perfect opportunity to start a gratitude habit. Jot down a few things every single day that you are grateful for. There are even some really cool journals out there completely dedicated to the idea of gratitude. 

This one is a great option since it has prompts that can make writing easier if this practice is completely new to you. 

5) Set Boundaries

Do you have trouble setting boundaries in your life? Difficulty saying no?

I bet most of us are familiar with the term people pleaser. Worrying more about how others feel at the expense of your own wants and needs is not going to win you a kindness award. 

Those two concepts can walk a fine line. But you can be a kind person and still pass on something that’s not for you. Say no to something that you don’t have the capacity for. 

Being able to set boundaries is a massive way you can show yourself kindness. Protecting your time and your peace is invaluable. 

This book is the holy grail of boundary setting. I have read it multiple times. (it is that good) The author explains things in a way that is easy to digest and comprehend. 

6) Make Space for Joy

Make time for fun. Find hobbies you truly enjoy. 

Allowing yourself to have fun and spend time doing things you love is a crucial piece of the puzzle of life. 

In our younger years, fun is the name of the game. Play is a huge aspect of what our lives revolve around.

As we get older, this idea can get pushed further and further down on the priority list. Now, I know we can not go through life the way we did at 2, 6, or 10 years old. 

But fun and enjoyment always deserve their time in the spotlight.

This could also be making space to just relax and do nothing. Being productive is an idea that has been glamorized. And while I most definitely believe we should be productive human beings, that is not the only thing we should be.

It is not the metric by which we should evaluate ourselves or our overall lives. 

7) Digital Detox

Oh, phones. (or any device)

What can I say about them that has not been said already? I mean, there are books now dedicated to the topic of technology, phone addiction, and the impacts of social media. 

This is not to bash phones. I love my phone. It keeps me connected to my family and friends. It helps me get to the places I need to go. (sometimes I forget that in my teen years, we had to print out directions on MapQuest)

But the internet is not all rainbows and sunshine. There is a not-so-bright and cheery aspect to it. 

One giant thing about the internet is that it is not real life. This is not to say it is all a big fat lie. But..if the shoe fits.

Truthfully, the thing is that we don’t know what is real or fake on the internet. Most often things we see are a combo of both. But we are never seeing the full picture.

A short video or photo with a nice caption can impact us greatly. (in positive or negative ways)

Spending time being present in your actual life is always going to be the better overall choice. 

8) Try Not To Live in The Past

Notice I said try. This is not going to be a one-and-done choice you make one Tuesday morning while drinking coffee. 

So often we harp on ourselves for things that we can not change. Last time I checked, time traveling is still not possible. Or maybe it is but only a select few get to know about it. 

The point is…dwelling on the past is such an easy thing to do but it is also a dangerous thing. It can almost rob us of our lives right here and now. 

Focusing on what we can control right here and now is going to yield much more positive outcomes. 

9) Compliment Yourself

OK, now even this makes me cringe a little. Which in all honestly, makes me a little sad.

Genuine compliments are like little sprinkles of kindness we can scatter throughout our days. 

You could even try to choose some affirmations to make a part of your day. 

I am a good person.

I deserve to live a joy-filled life. 

I’m doing the best I can right now. 

Will this make life beautiful and wonderful all the time? No. 

Can it make a difference in your life when practiced consistently? Absolutely.


Often, it can feel as if once we change that one thing or have that one lightbulb moment life will all come together. It will all work out. 

That’s just not how it goes. It’s a lot of small, moving parts that we can work to align in a way that feels good to us or right for us.

Being kind to ourselves is not as easy as flipping a switch. It takes practice and patience. It also is not going to end with this perfect outcome of us bursting at the seams with kindness toward ourselves. 

You deserve kindness and grace just like everyone else does. And while my inner voice (remember mean Mary) is not going to just disappear and never resurface. 

Maybe I can give her a friend. Kind Kylie. Feel free to name your inner voice if you are quirky like me. I am a firm believer that a little weirdness is a necessity in life. 

Which of these ideas on how to be kind to yourself stood out to you?

You Might Also Like:

10 Super Simple Ways To Enjoy Spending Time Alone

6 Powerful Ways To Be More Grateful in Life

Must-Read Ways To Have More Fun in Life

9 Life-Changing Habits You Should Definitely Consider

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How To Be Kind To Yourself: 9 Simple Ideas To Try

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