How To Beat Boredom in Marriage: 5 Things To Think About
What To Do When Relationships Get Boring
This is all about how to beat boredom in marriage. But…
Something has to be said before we get into the nitty gritty good stuff.
There is just something that needs to be addressed and made crystal clear. (can you tell it’s important?)
It is completely normal and okay for your relationships to feel boring at times. This in no way equates to your relationship being doomed or that there is a serious fundamental problem going on.
Like many things in life, relationships also ebb and flow. There are highs and lows. There will be no shortage of the mundane.
Do not get fooled into thinking that your relationship (or life in general) is the only one that feels dull at times.
Now, everyone’s relationship is going through a different season right now. So all of these ideas might not feel as if they apply to you.
View these ideas are sort of a starting point to shift your focus to if they make sense for where your relationship is. This is not a precise step-by-step list that will lead you to the land of marital bliss.
Nothing can do that. This is more about looking at some concepts that you can implement in your relationship that will have a positive impact. Or provide you with the gift of a new perspective.
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Here Are 5 Tips on How To Beat Boredom in Marriage
1) Examine Your Expectations
One of the biggest issues that relationships face is unrealistic expectations.
Think of relationships you have seen in movies or even all the parts of relationships we see on social media. We have access to so much.
And while we may know that everything we see is (obviously) not a 100% true representation of a situation, it can still heavily influence us.
Happy and healthy relationships are not magical and amazing all the dang time. There may not always be this intense attraction or excitement.
This is not to say that you just accept whatever your relationship looks like whether you like it or not. But it can be beneficial to take a step back and look at what is going on in your life as a whole.
And then you can dive in to see if there is a deeper issue that needs attention or if your expectations need some tweaks.
The idea of always vibing or always being on the same page should not be a hard standard we live by.
This can cause any minor issue or unalignment to throw us off.
It’s so crucial to consider what our partners (and ourselves) are capable of.
(A perfect example in my marriage: My husband is not a mind reader and expecting him to react or respond a certain way without any communication is not realistic)
2) Compare Less
Comparing is hard. It’s just a tough concept to tackle. And there is no magical concoction to make us immune to it.
Another tricky aspect of comparison is that it is something that might always be there. There will always be opportunities for us to measure our relationship against those around us. Whether that is in real life or the digital world.
Telling you to stop comparing your relationship to others you see sounds like a completely unrealistic expectation.
Instead, try to remind yourself often that the only relationship you should be concerned with is the one you are in.
Also, answer this question. What do you like about your relationship? It can be easy to find faults in our partners or things we don’t like about our relationships.
But what is something you like about your relationship and your partner?
First of all, let me just say that I do not like surprises. I am someone who is much more comfortable with knowing what is coming.
However, I can get on board with small surprises. Surprises that don’t necessarily give me sweaty armpits.
A surprise date night can be just that little bit of light when your relationship is feeling a bit heavy.
Trying new things (even in the smallest capacity) can shake things up a bit.
You could even look at a marriage book together and see where that leads.
These little things matter. And they can be that perfect tool to break up the monotony of life. Little moments of fun and connection happening consistently are where it’s at.
You don’t have to sell all your stuff and travel the United States in an RV. (this was something I tried talking my husband into doing when the boredom beast was running rampant in me)
Do you ever have that experience of having an inner battle with yourself on whether or not to share something with your partner?
Like you want to bring something up but you feel like it wouldn’t be well received or maybe you aren’t even sure how to express what’s going on.
I know I have gone through this on multiple occasions. And it is not because I don’t feel comfortable with my husband.
Being vulnerable is tough and being able to have consistently open and honest communication takes work.
But communication is essential in building a strong foundation in your relationship.
Here’s a more in-depth look at some communication tips.
5) Focus on Yourself
This may seem like an idea coming straight out of left field.
But I think we all need the reminder now and then to focus on ourselves. To check in and see how we are doing on a personal level.
This will without a doubt help your relationship thrive.
You are a complete person separate from your relationship. Our partners and not meant to provide every ounce of our happiness and vice versa.
Having your own life will serve you and your relationship well.
And I always see a payoff in all the relationships in my life when I work on myself.
If you are a bookworm like me, check out these stellar personal growth books!
Listen up! Perfect marriages do not exist.
They just don’t. (and never will)
Embrace where you are. Knowing that relationships can feel messy at times. Magical at times. And (gasp) even boring at times.
Which one of these tips on how to beat boredom in marriage resonates with you?
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