How To Build a Good Relationship With Your Partner
Early Signs of a Good Relationship
Anyone who is in a relationship can relate to what we are going to talk about.
How to build a good relationship with your partner.
We all want good relationships, right? Strong relationships.
Relationships that we are proud to be a part of.
So what exactly do we do to build these relationships? What path do we follow?
Wouldn’t we all like some super clear-cut answers to those questions?!
As we all know, however, relationships do not come with a guidebook. We don’t enter into a relationship with precise instructions on how to make it all work.
But there’s good news.
There are lots of different ways to build a good relationship. SO MANY WAYS!
And I am going to share some ways you can work on building a really kick-butt relationship starting right now.
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Here Are 8 Tips All About How To Build a Good Relationship With Your Partner
1) Work on Your Relationship With Yourself
The relationship you have with yourself will play a pivotal role in every other relationship you have.
I am learning this more and more. And I, like I’m sure many others, have gone through experiences that have reinforced this idea.
You can not be an afterthought in your own life while attempting to build rock star relationships with others. At least that won’t be a sustainable way to go through life.
And would that be enjoyable for you?
It’s like having an elephant in the room. And not only is that elephant in the room but it has gas.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will have. Nurturing it will impact every part of your life in positive ways.
2) Stay in Your Lane
The only relationship you should be spending time on is your own.
This is so much easier said than done.
A picture or short and sweet edited video can take me to a not-so-pleasant place pretty quickly.
And the answer is not to ignore those feelings.
Doing that will not make you magically become someone that never compares. You will just become someone who pretends they don’t compare.
Try taking a deep dive. Talk it out with yourself. Or with your partner.
So often our first reaction to a feeling or situation we don’t like is to push it down. We know this is not the best option but in the moment I think it is the most appealing option at times.
It’s the age-old “I’ll worry about that later” mindset. We know better. Now, knowing better and doing better are two very different things.
You gotta start somewhere.
Lean into the discomfort.
Dissect the reasons you are comparing. If comparison becomes a prominent and recurring theme in your life, then facing it is a must.
3) Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations have (and probably will again) gotten the best of me a time or two (or 72). But who’s counting?
These are tough. I think they are one of those things that we are very aware of. But we still set these unbelievably unrealistic expectations hoping and even believing there is a chance they will work out.
We set these with the best of intentions. And for me, they feel good to set. Of course they do. They are ultimate goals. Best-case scenario vibes for sure!
I will always have a clean house.
I will never yell at my kids.
My husband and I will never fight.
In relationships and in life, flexibility is a good thing to have. And unrealistic expectations leave no room for any flexibility.
In your relationship, things will probably not be black and white. So if you find yourself wading through some unrealistic expectations, don’t feel like you have to go in the completely opposite direction.
Most situations are not all or nothing.
We have to strive to be realistic about what is truly doable and also what feels good for us and our partners. (this will of course take time and practice)
4) Have Fun
Fun is not something reserved for the lucky few. Fun is a necessity. Letting loose and laughing. Those things are crucial for our relationships and really our lives in general.
Just like I never regret reading a good book or taking a long bubble bath (you know the kind where you look like a raisin afterward).
You will not regret having fun. We will not regret injecting joy into our lives.
Life is not always bursting at the seams with fun things. And neither are relationships.
We must be creating fun and searching for joy and really sinking our teeth into those things.
5) Focus on Communication Consistently
The way you and your partner communicate will play a significant role in the health of your relationship.
This is one of those things that needs to be placed on a high priority level. It is also something that you can work on together as a couple and separately as individuals.
So often we may assume that communication is something that will just fall into place. And in some situations it does.
But the big idea here is that there is quite a difference between communication and healthy communication.
All communication is definitely not created equally.
Here are some super helpful communication tips!
6) Have Your Own Life
We talked earlier about really working on and growing the relationship you have with yourself. Now, we are going to talk about you again.
When we enter into a relationship, we DO NOT have to drop ourselves off at the door. We DO NOT have to put on our “we” hat and take off our “me” hat.
In a healthy relationship, there will always be room for you. Space for you.
Your relationship will never benefit from you neglecting yourself and your wants and needs.
You should have your own life and encourage your partner to do the same.
On a personal note, my marriage always thrives when my husband and I go out and pursue things for ourselves.
7) It’s Time For a Meeting
In my house, we have marriage meetings.
And I know what you are thinking. How sexy and glamorous!
I mean, I guess if I wore an evening gown to one of these meetings there would be some glam but normally I wear sweatpants so…
Check-ins are a perfect example of a small thing that can have a massive impact.
I know our initial reaction when adding something to the calendar may be that there won’t be time.
But the entire point of these meetings or check-ins with your partner is that making a little time every week consistently can save you from having to deal with things that inevitably take up a lot of time if left untouched.
8) Embrace Slowness
Life can sometimes feel like it is just going on all around us. Happening at warp speed. And we are just along for the ride. Not truly enjoying the ride.
I know in my marriage, my husband and I can easily become like ships passing in the night.
Basically, we become two people just exchanging important dates and information.
Here is my best piece of advice.
Put your phone away.
Talk. Play a game. Go for a walk. Do a puzzle.
Slow down. Marinate in the things we are quick to label as small or simple. Those things are what our relationships are made of. Not big plans or grand gestures.
The little things are good for the soul.
Your relationship will thank you!
With relationships, it is not just a “you get what you get” type of thing. That might be true for the bananas you bought at the grocery store.
But remember that your relationship is not a perishable thing destined to go bad.
Have any tips on how to build a good relationship with your partner? Share!
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