How To Create a Life You Love

How To Build a Life For Yourself

This is all about how to create a life you love.

Can you guess what the most important word in that sentence is?

YOU!!

In order to live a life we love, we have to do some digging. We have to chip away and peel back some layers.

We are looking way below the surface here. (like way down below)

The spotlight needs to be shining right on you!

If you are anything like me, this might be a little off-putting. To hunker down and hone in on the things you want and need for your life.

But we are talking about something pretty significant here. Your dang life!

So take your time with this. Really marinate in this ongoing process.

Oh, wait… one more thing.

Put on your patience pants for this.

Change in any way doesn’t usually happen overnight. (total bummer, right?!)

Life is going to throw us curveballs.

And I am sure we have all gone through an experience that has reminded us that life rarely goes exactly how we want or how we predict it will.

Patience is going to come in clutch here.

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Here Are 9 Tips All About How To Create a Life You Love… (starting today)

1) Grab A Pen

Did I mention it has to be a magical pen? (Any fellow Harry Potter fans out there?)

Ok, the pen doesn’t have to be magical, it just has to write.

So, what are we writing here you might wonder.

Well, you can write anything you want. I actually find writing to be very therapeutic. Even doodling can be stress relieving. (remember those days of writing “I love Brian” all over your notebooks at school?)

Anyway… I got way off track there so let me bring it back.

I highly suggest you start with writing things you love about your life, just as it is today.

And what you feel is not working in your life. Areas that you feel could use some attention. Some minor (or major) tweaks.

Really be honest here. You’re not getting a grade on this. There are no right or wrong answers here.

Writing is also just a super helpful way to empty our minds and clear the clutter that can accumulate up there. Grab a simple notebook (I love this one) and get to writing.

You could also make a vision board if you are feeling particularly inspired. (here are some fun vision board details)

2) Expectations

We have all heard people say to just go out there and live your dreams.

Discover what you want to do in life and then just do it.

Get busy living your best life!

Those things sound amazing, right? And they might even get you pumped up and super inspired and motivated, right?

But we come down from that high. And that motivation we felt now feels like dread because where do we start?

The execution does not usually go as smoothly as we would like.

Now, this is not to be a Debbie Downer. This is not me telling you to think small. Heck no. I think we should all go after what we want in life.

Of course, I want us all to be living our best and fullest lives.

What this is about is doing our best to set ourselves up for success. In any area of life.

Be realistic with the how, what, why, when, and where of it all. You are not going to change your life by next Thursday.

Expectations are also a great segway to being open and willing to try different things. Not every idea we have or vision we have for our lives is going to stick.

This is about giving yourself grace and room to grow and space to experiment with your life in a way.

It is absolutely normal to feel frustrated or discouraged at times when things are not happening on the timeline we want them to.

The real power in your life comes in being able to accept those feelings, work through them and keep on going.

3) You Do Not Need To Have it All Figured Out

To be honest, will we ever in our lifetime have it all figured out?

What does that even mean? Life is not a puzzle that we are frantically working to finish. We won’t put that last piece in and then it’s all done.

We figured it all out. Now what.

That’s just not how it works.

We change. The things that are important to us change. There are and always will be changes and shifts in our lives.

I know I am not the only one who feels the pressure to have it all together and have it figured out. Especially by a certain age.

The only thing this mindset will do is make us feel like we are always falling short. Like everyone else has figured it all out and we missed the memo.

None of us need to be walking around with that kind of pressure. Work on taking the idea of “figuring it out” out of the equation completely.

4) Wiggle Room

In most areas of your life, we can find wiggle room. We can find space to make changes, even if they are only tiny changes.

I have been guilty in the past of settling for the old “it is what it is” saying. But the older I get and the more I really think about what I want my life to be, I am not willing to just sit back and shrug my shoulders.

Things happen. True.

But we don’t have to just sit still and allow any situation in life to have complete control over us. We don’t have to just sit back and let it be.

Find the wiggle room. Pivot and scooch around and see where you can find space.

5) Take Care of Yourself

Think about how you take care of those around you. Partners, children, parents, and even pets. We take care of those we love.

We should include ourselves on that list. (at the top of the list actually)

Do we check on ourselves? I bet not nearly enough.

Slow down. Take a look at how you are doing.

You deserve to be so much more than an afterthought in your own life. You are the main character.

Here is a reminder that you are important and valuable. Treat yourself as such.

6) Embrace The Middle

Life is full of highs and lows. Ups and downs. But most of life happens right in the middle.

And maybe we overlook the middle a little too often. We tend to pay more attention to the highs. Well, we at least spend more time looking forward to the highs.

Random Wednesdays are where life happens. Sure, I love to look forward to a friend’s upcoming wedding. I of course love Christmas with my family.

Looking forward to big events or big adventures is fun.

This is not about downplaying the big and grand and exceptionally fun parts of life. Those things just don’t happen on a regular basis, though.

Maybe there are a few people who live incredibly fun and exciting lives but that’s not true for the majority of us.

Live on random Wednesdays. Appreciate life during taco Tuesday. Don’t miss what’s right in front of you.

Remember that movie Click with Adam Sandler? It’s tempting to want to skip to what we view as the good parts.

But isn’t it all the good part? (ok, maybe not every last second but you get the gist)

This next tip will help you with this living in the middle concept.

7) Gratitude

Make gratitude a part of your daily life.

This doesn’t need to be some huge time-consuming part of your day.

It really only takes a few minutes. But the payoff is totally worth it.

The tougher, messier parts of life seem to stick out, don’t they? We remember when the barista at Starbucks wasn’t that nice to us but do we remember the good stuff?

It’s like a colander… you know the things we use to drain pasta. The water goes through but the pasta doesn’t (besides a rebel noodle here and there).

The good parts of our day can easily get washed down the drain and forgotten about.

But those tougher or less enjoyable parts stay front and center.

Gratitude pushes you to reflect on situations and experiences and find the good stuff. It’s like a soft but firm nudge.

It’s also the perfect way to start noticing the simple and seemingly small joys in life. Like a hot cup of coffee or slipping on your favorite pair of pajama pants.

These things happen usually without a second thought.

Don’t forget that small joys add up.

8) Stay in Your Lane

What you want in life and what your neighbor Pam wants may be completely opposite.

That’s great. Because you are not Pam… and her life choices do not directly impact you. (for the most part.. there’s always a chance she could get a dog that loves to poop in your yard)

Comparison will steal your joy. Every last bit. It can leave you feeling sad and empty.

If we are not careful, comparison clouds will float in and hang over us.

Comparing is something we all do. But to what extent? That’s the important part.

Here are some super helpful tips all about simple ways to handle and work through comparison.

9) It Might Feel…

Awkward. Uncomfortable. Yucky.

Weird. Scary.

Often we say we don’t know what to do but a lot of times I think we do know what to do, we just don’t want to do it. I mean, I am the queen of this.

The things we don’t want to do are of course not appealing to us.

Now, some people thrive in a changing environment. I am not naturally one of those people.

Some people are more easily able to face tricky situations or make bold moves without a second thought. I am not naturally one of those people either.

And I have come to peace with that.

I overthink situations. I worry excessively. And I go to the extremes in the planning department.

We so often wish we were a different way. We wish we didn’t do things like this or have thoughts like this or really any part of ourselves that we pick apart.

But picking on ourselves doesn’t help us create happier lives.

You can love yourself and treat yourself with loads of kindness and still acknowledge that there are things you need or want to work on.

All of this can co-exist in your life.

This isn’t a snap of your fingers situation. A genie is not going to pop out of that old vase in the attic and hand you this amazing life on a platter. (I’m not saying that’s 100% impossible, I just wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you)

Be kind to yourself.

Be patient with yourself.

And never forget that even teeny tiny changes or choices hold power.

Have any tips on how to create a life you love? Share away!

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