How To Have A Better Marriage: 5 Powerful Tips
Steps To A Better Marriage
A better coffee maker. A better phone.
Better sheets for your bed. Better face lotion.
Most of us have thought about things like this. Things in our lives that may be in need of a little upgrade.
Has the thought of how to have a better marriage ever popped into your head?
For the longest time, I treated my marriage as if it was on cruise control.
My thoughts were simple. We love each other. We want to be together. What else is there?
I obviously did not know what I was talking about. Can I partially blame it on an overload of romantic comedies in my teen years? Of course, I can’t. OK, maybe I can a little.
But the lack of any big problems in my marriage made me think things were going well.
Everything was fine. Oh no. Not that dreaded word. Fine. We all know fine is more like a code word for things being the opposite of fine.
My marriage was working but it was not thriving.
There were no monumental issues my husband and I were facing. But I just knew things could be better!
These tips are pretty simple. And you might even think they are pretty dang obvious.
But they could be the perfect little reminder that your marriage needs!
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Here Are 5 Tips on How To Have A Better Marriage
1) Acknowledge Issues
Sweeping stuff under the rug can be so tempting. And it can often seem like the easier option.
But I promise you it is not. Issues that really matter have a way of climbing out from under that rug and jumping back into your life. Maybe even when you least expect them.
Sometimes, we may even think the issue has completely gone away for good. But then something happens on a random trip to the grocery store that triggers you and BAM! That issue is back with a vengeance.
Issues, disagreements, and problems are going to make an appearance in your relationship. No couple is immune to this. And they are not going to resolve themselves on their own.
The key is to work together as a couple to tackle the things that are weighing your marriage down. Not just play hide and seek with them.
Avoidance is not the answer.
The next tip on this list is going to help with this so much!
2) Marriage Meetings
Oh, la la.
Marriage meetings. Does it get much sexier? Obviously nothing sexy about scheduling a meeting for your marriage.
But we all know there are so many parts of marriage that are not sexy or glamorous in any way.
Hands down, this is one of the things that has had the biggest impact on my marriage. This gives my hubby and I a set time every week to just talk. Ask each other how we are. How was the week?
It gives us a safe place and time to be open with one another.
And you know what? I take back what I said about a marriage meeting not being sexy.
I think putting an effort toward making your relationship better is a little bit sexy.
Try scheduling a marriage meeting. You will not be disappointed.
3) Back To The Beginning
Think back to the early days of your relationship. Take a little stroll down memory lane.
Over time, we can begin to only notice the annoyances.
We can forget what brought us together in the first place. We can forget what we love about the person we chose to spend our life with.
Of course, we know we love them. But what are the specifics?
(You did not marry someone just because they were good looking)
You know that feeling you get when you hear a certain song from your past? It can feel as if you are instantly transported to a different time.
That is what talking about good memories from your relationship is like. In the very best way possible.
It has a way of shifting my perspective a little.
A light bulb goes off. An aha moment!
Yeah, my husband leaves his socks all over the house and it is still annoying. But I used to be more attached to sleeping in his shirts than my daughter was with her favorite blanket.
This is not going to solve all your problems. But it can change your mindset.
4) Where’s Your Phone
How many times a day do you look at your phone?
My answer to that question makes me cringe a little.
Here is another question.
How many times a day do you need to look at your phone?
Put the phones away and talk. Put the phones away and watch a movie. Just try to be more mindful of when and why you are actually checking your phone.
Every relationship needs some tech-free time! SERIOUSLY!
You could also use that tech-free time to read a book. This book is sure to change your marriage. I recommend it to everyone I know!
And I recently read this book and couldn’t put it down!
5) What Do You Expect?
Do you expect your partner to read your mind?
Do you expect your spouse to never screw up?
Unrealistic expectations can be toxic to your marriage.
Having unrealistic expectations is usually accompanied by a lot of disappointment. It makes things seem never quite good enough.
Perfection is not attainable. Not for anyone. So be sure that perfection is not a goal you are not striving to achieve.
Watch how often you are using certain words. Should is one of those words. When we start truly believing that someone should know how we are feeling, we are setting our relationship up for failure.
This is not in any way shape or form suggesting that you should just accept everything as is. You should always be looking for ways to improve your marriage and how it is working.
Just make sure the improvements you are trying to make are NOT based on a pretty social media picture or caption.
I deserve the best. My spouse deserves the best. Our marriage deserves the best.
Repeat those three sentences! They are so true.
We just need to remember that we have to create the best marriage. It is not just going to fall into our laps.
Now, here is one more reminder to put your phone down tonight.
(I know I needed that extra reminder and maybe you did too)
Have any advice on how to have a better marriage? I’d love to hear it!
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