How To Have A Good Marriage: 6 Tips That Helped My Marriage
Happy Marriage Tips
Would you say you have a good marriage?
Would you describe your marriage as happy?
Here’s the thing. When it comes to how to have a good marriage, there isn’t a secret handbook out there that has all the answers.
There is no secret formula to guarantee a lifetime of happiness.
But you don’t have to look very hard to find some very valuable nuggets of advice. Look, you found some right here!
And another thing to remember is that not everything you read will apply to your relationship. Not everything will jump out at you. Not everything will feel relatable.
But I encourage you to be open to new advice. Open and willing to see what a different idea or perspective can do for you and for your marriage.
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Here Are 6 Tips on How To Have A Good Marriage
1) Keep it Personal
You are a person. Of course, you already know that.
But when we are in a relationship, we may start to think about ourselves a little less. We may be more focused on being one half of a partnership.
And I am not saying this is a bad thing. Not at all.
Marriage is a partnership. Hopefully, a very strong partnership.
But there is always room for personal growth.
We all still need to work on ourselves. Have our own lives. Have goals of our own.
Your marriage will only benefit from you bringing your very best self to the table.
We should also always remember that the only person we can change is ourselves!
Check out this post that is all about you living your best life!
2) Realize The Power of Your Words
Words are one of the greatest weapons we have. And I think every one of us has used our words in a way we may not be proud of.
Whether that was with our spouse, our kids or just that random person that took our parking spot at the grocery store.
In relationships, there will be disagreements and arguments. Hurtful things may get said in the heat of the moment.
We are all human so to pledge to never say something hurtful is just not realistic.
Another thing we can often do is downplay things we have said. We can easily come up with an excuse as to why we said something.
I was mad. I lost my temper. You know I didn’t mean it.
But we can and need to do better than that. We can acknowledge when we have said something that never should have come out of our mouths. And then we think of ways to improve in this area.
Acknowledging is only half the battle. The other half is taking some action.
The problem with words is you can not take them back. You can use your words in a positive way to say sorry. But some words will cut too deep. Even a sincere and heartfelt apology won’t be able to make things better.
Here is my best tip for this issue. I tend to be the one in my marriage that can say some pretty nasty things. This simple tip is exactly what I do.
If an argument or discussion feels like it has taken a turn for the worst, walk away. Even if it is just for a few minutes.
I know it is not always ideal to leave a discussion open by just walking away. But when harsh words start to bubble up that conversation has a small chance of being productive.
3) Celebrate More
Birthdays roll around and we celebrate.
Anniversaries pop up and we celebrate.
But I say that is not enough. A few dates on the calendar should not be the only time we celebrate our marriage.
Maybe you and your spouse have been having a rough time and the fog is finally starting to lift. Celebrate that.
Maybe your kids have been pushing your buttons and you both came together to brainstorm ways to find solutions. Celebrate that too!
I am not saying you need to plan something extravagant. Every victory does not call for a 3-day trip somewhere tropical. Dang, that would be nice though!
But a celebratory dance party on a random Tuesday is good for the soul too!
4) I Appreciate…
When was the last time you told your spouse something specific you appreciate about them?
The last time I did this was 2 days ago when I told my husband how much I appreciate the way he plays with our daughter with so much patience.
That man will play dress-up and hide and go seek for hours like a champ. And I truly appreciate him for that.
Here are a few words of wisdom for you. A little golden nugget for you to think about.
You find what you are looking for. I think this is so true in relationships and really just life in general.
You are going to find what you are looking for. How about looking for the good in your partner? How about looking for things to appreciate. Things to be grateful for.
I can complain with the best of them. And I’m going to be very honest and say that complaining can feel dang good sometimes.
But making appreciation a bigger part of your day is a much better path to take.
5) Put That Phone AWAY
Technology is a beautiful thing. Without it, I would get lost on a regular basis. My time on the elliptical would be silent and therefore feel ten times longer than it actually is. Being able to take pictures at any given moment is pretty cool.
Point is technology is not all bad. Actually, I do not think it is really too bad at all.
The bad part is how we use it. When our phones become a permanent hand accessory, that is a good indication there is a problem.
Don’t have an affair with your phone.
Have some places where phones are off-limits. The bedroom. The dinner table.
I know some jobs require people to be available by phone pretty much all the time. My husband has a job like this.
But there is a difference between having to take an important call and checking the comments on your latest social media post.
Has your partner ever had to compete with your phone for your attention?
Have you ever felt like you came second to your partner’s phone use?
Really think about these questions and come up with an honest answer. Even if that answer isn’t something you like or want to admit.
6) Date Your Spouse
Date nights. How often are they happening at your house? On a regular basis? Rarely?
Or have date nights become a mythical thing that you know nothing about?
In the past, I had to dig deep in the vault of my brain to TRY and think of the last time my hubby and I went on a date.
And the truth is I never really thought this was that big of a deal. I mean, of course, I wanted to go on more date nights but I didn’t think this was doing any real damage to my relationship.
Spoiler alert. It was doing some damage.
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to make date nights a consistent thing.
You would be surprised what an hour or two out together every week or every other week will do for your marriage.
Plan a date night ASAP! Put it in the calendar and make that date night a priority.
Marriage. It is beautiful. Messy. Painful. Amazing. Fun. Hard. Challenging. Nerve-wracking. Magical. Wonderful.
I could go on and on. Marriage is so many things.
Here is one more word to describe marriage. Work.
And it is up to us to put in the work to build and create the best marriage we possibly can.
What do you think about these tips on how to have a good marriage? Drop a comment!
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