How To Have a Good Relationship With Yourself
Your Relationship With Yourself is The Most Important
We are going to take a look at the idea of how to have a good relationship with yourself.
Now, maybe this is something that you have given quite a bit of thought to. Or maybe it is something that has never really been on your radar.
Maybe you fall somewhere in between those two points.
Either way, let’s jump right into this very important and very necessary convo!
First things first.
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship in your life.
It has an impact on every other relationship in your life. Heck, it impacts not only relationships but every single area of your life.
If something holds that much weight in our lives, we should absolutely take it seriously and treat it accordingly.
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Here Are 7 Tips All About How To Have a Good Relationship With Yourself
1) Do a Brain Dump
Get it all out. Clear the clutter. Brush away the cobwebs.
A brain dump can help to create a sort of roadmap. You’re not going to get all the answers (bummer, I know).
But it can really help to highlight important areas.
Often times our minds are crowded. Cluttered. Busting at the seams.
A brain dump can make space for change. Make space for improvement.
This is like emptying out your purse. If you are anything like me, you never know what surprises you will find.
Grab a journal and let it spill. Pour it all out.
2) Who Are You?
Get to know yourself.
This may sound silly but just give it a shot.
Getting to know ourselves may feel strange. Mainly because we assume that this doesn’t need to be done. We assume that, of course, we know ourselves.
But maybe a little reintroduction needs to happen.
What do you like to do? What are your goals for the future? Are there areas of life you feel content with? Are there areas you would like to make some tweaks to?
Evaluate what’s on your plate. How is everything working for you? Do you need to cut back on some things? Add more of other things. Move things around.
Remember that journal we talked about with the brain dump situation? It can also really come in handy here. There is just something about words on paper. Words that we can see with our own eyes.
If you feel stuck with this, here is a fun (and maybe a little weird) thing to try. Act as if you were writing a dating profile. (a super honest and raw dating profile of course!)
What would you say about yourself?
3) Work on Yourself
Personal growth is all the rage, right?
But it’s popular for a reason.
There is no shortage of truly helpful information out there. Just waiting for us to take it in. Waiting to be absorbed.
The podcast world is massive. There are TED Talks galore. And then there is my personal favorite. BOOKS!
(here are some of my tried & true personal growth faves)
I am currently reading this one! I’m on page 133 and literally can’t get enough. And I recently finished this gem. It is absolutely worthy of a spot on your nightstand.
Small habits done consistently can make your life better. Reading for 10 minutes a day may not seem like something almighty and powerful. But it can be.
Journaling may not jump out at you as the thing that can alter the trajectory of your life. But it could be.
*Side note: One thing that I am always working on is the urge I feel to compare my life and basically everything about myself to others. This seems like a simple concept to handle. Just stop comparing. But I am guessing most of us know it’s not that simple.
Have books helped me banish the comparison monster once and for all? Nope. But have they helped tremendously? Yep.*
4) Take Care of Yourself
You should never be an afterthought in your own life.
You should not feel bad for putting yourself first. But we do often feel not so great about making ourselves a priority. We can feel intense guilt when we choose ourselves.
I think so often we look at choosing ourselves as us not choosing someone or something else. But it’s not so black and white.
And even if honoring your feelings is as black and white as saying yes to yourself and no to someone else, that is ok. That is actually what all this comes down to.
Think of how much happier a majority of people would be if they understood and used better boundaries.
Doing for others is amazing. But doing for others at our own expense is not the way.
If you struggle with boundaries in any way, get your hands on this book ASAP!
From the first page to the last page, it is filled with everything you could ever want to know about the who, what, when, where, and how of setting healthy boundaries for ourselves.
And here is one last reminder just for good measure…There is nothing selfish about taking really good care of yourself.
Prioritizing yourself will serve you well.
5) Where’s The Joy
I was reading an article the other day about parenting. It was all about how we could learn so much from the kiddos in our lives about finding joy and really slowing down and appreciating our lives.
It definitely got me thinking.
For many of us, there comes a point in our adult lives when experiencing joy and true happiness takes a backseat.
I’m not saying we are walking around like the miserable Bergens from the Troll movies. (ok, I might act like a Bergen sometimes)
But we have responsibilities. We have things that have to get done. Things that need to get done.
I’m also not saying we can walk through life with the mindset of the happy-go-lucky trolls either. Singing songs may help make us feel a little better but it’s definitely not the answer to everything.
Here’s something I think we can all relate to. Our lives can often fall into the autopilot trap.
Things are just chugging along. We are busy going through the motions.
Joy and excitement and happiness are not luxuries. They are necessary.
Here are some simple ways to add joy to your life.
6) How’s Your Inner Voice
I know I am not the only one who can be extremely critical of myself.
Honestly, I can be downright nasty to myself.
Would I say those things to my best friend? Absolutely not.
If you want to improve the relationship you have with yourself, a Nasty Nancy voice in your head is the last thing you need.
Call that voice out. Confront it. Tell that inner voice of yours that you are not in the mood for her crap anymore.
OK, let’s pause and acknowledge that all of that sounds silly.
It feels silly and awkward because many of us have spent years being really unkind to ourselves. Our default in our minds has become cruelty and judgment.
We can’t just flip a switch and swap out Nasty Nancy for Joyful Jan. A true change takes time.
But we have to start somewhere. And what better way to improve your relationship with yourself than to focus on some good old kindness?
7) Heal
We all have stuff, right? And we can’t just slap a bandaid on some of this stuff and make it all better. We’re not talking about paper cuts here.
One of the best things we can do for ourselves is work through that stuff. Focus on healing.
We can allow ourselves to face any discomfort this may bring up.
Brushing things under the rug seems easier. Avoidance feels easier.
Until it’s not.
There will inevitably come a time when it is impossible to avoid or brush things under the rug. Nothing else will fit under the rug!
Our lives are just that. Ours.
And it is up to us to do the work. It’s up to us to check in with ourselves.
If we want a good relationship with ourselves, the responsibility falls on us to build that relationship.
The ball is in our court. So I guess we better get to dribbling.
Have any advice on how to have a good relationship with yourself?
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