How To Have A Healthy Relationship: 9 Must-Know Tips
Healthy Relationship Tips For Couples
A healthy relationship.
Yeah, I’ll take one of those. How about you?
Silly question. Of course, you want to be part of a healthy relationship.
But when it comes to how to have a healthy relationship, it takes a little more effort than just saying we want one.
These healthy relationship tips for couples are going to do just that. They are going to provide you with some extremely helpful and realistic ways to build that healthy relationship you want, need and deserve!
A happy relationship. This is what I hear all the time. Everyone is talking about having a happy relationship.
And don’t get me wrong. Happiness is a goal I have for my marriage. But I also think a lasting relationship takes more than happiness.
Happy is a piece of the relationship puzzle. But health is another piece. A piece that may not always get the attention it deserves.
Don’t sail along in your relationship riding the happiness boat. Go for a ride on that healthy boat every now and then.
Here Are 9 Tips on How To Have a Healthy Relationship
1) Don’t Neglect the Bedroom
Yes, I am talking about sex.
It is not the most important part of a healthy relationship. But it is important.
This can be a touchy subject. I know. I have been with my husband for 13 years and I still have a hard time with this.
But intimacy issues that get swept under the rug can snowball into other issues. And that is definitely not healthy.
Don’t put off talking about things. Even things that make you feel a little awkward or uncomfortable.
The more you talk about these things openly and honestly, the less they will become a topic you avoid at all costs.
2) Don’t Assume
I’m just going to come right out and say it.
I am the queen of assuming. The dang queen!
How often do you assume you and your partner are on the same page about something?
Assume you feel the same or share a similar opinion?
Assume your partner should just automatically know how you are feeling?
Your partner can not read your mind. Maybe sometimes you wish they could.
Wait a minute!
I take that back. I, for one, do not want my husband reading my mind. Except when it comes to food. I would love it if he could read my mind and know what kind of sweet treat I was craving.
Want to know the key to not assuming so much?
Talking more. And asking more questions. It is as simple and as hard as that.
Talking more is such a simple idea. But going through with that idea is a tad more difficult.
Check out this post that is full of valuable communication tips!
Are you a good listener?
Sometimes is the answer I would give to that question. Sometimes I am a good listener.
Work in progress, people!
Here is the secret to listening. The secret to really good listening.
You need to listen to actually understand what your partner is expressing. Don’t just listen to respond.
When we start coming up with our response while our partner is still talking, we are only half-listening.
Poor listening skills can be a silent killer in your relationship. Not feeling truly heard over and over can build and build over time and morph into a problem that is large, in charge and hard as heck to overcome.
Stop and listen. This is what I tell myself.
Maybe you and your partner need to introduce a talking wand to help with this. This is a great option if you or your partner has a problem with interrupting the other mid-sentence too!
Try out different strategies and approaches and see what works for you.
Date your partner! This is a big deal.
Date nights are a way to have fun. A way to reconnect.
Do you know what date nights are notorious for though?
Slipping through the cracks.
We should plan a date night. How many times has this sentence been spoken in your home? I know this phrase is a frequent flyer at my house.
It’s pretty easy to acknowledge that we should plan a date night, but it doesn’t always happen.
That’s OK. Life is going to get in the way of date night every now and then.
But try not to let skipping date night become the norm.
Plan a date night. Write it down! Mark it on every calendar you can get your hands on.
And let me add one more very important thing.
Date nights do not have to be extravagant or expensive. I mean, I encourage going all out every once in a while.
But eating tacos in the Target parking lot while talking about dream vacations is a pretty fun way to spend a Wednesday night. I’m speaking from experience.
5) Set Up A Meeting
I have a meeting this Saturday night at 7:00.
A work meeting? Nope.
My husband and I have a marriage meeting.
Marriage meetings are fairly new to my relationship. But hot dang am I glad we added them.
They are a set time to do a little check-in. Just sit down with your partner and make sure things are running smoothly.
Some of our marriage meetings are short and sweet. Some have heavier topics and can last a bit longer.
These meetings also force us to discuss and handle things that we might otherwise put off for far too long.
6) It Takes Two
The only person you can control is yourself. This is true.
Does that mean you only work on things if your partner is contributing an equal amount of effort in your eyes?
You know the answer to that. (It’s NO by the way)
Listen up! It can be hard to be the one in the relationship who seems to care more. But just like all parts of a relationship, it is not about keeping score.
You may feel like you care more. But that’s most likely not the case.
I am also a strong believer in getting back what you put out.
Your partner may be inspired by you and stand beside you ready and willing to put in their fair share of effort.
7) Tech-Free Time
Phones are great. I love them. You love them. We all love them.
But they are not always great for your relationship.
Do me a favor. Think about how many times a day you check your phone. Maybe even keep track one day. Literally put a tally mark somewhere every single time you touch your phone.
You might be surprised by the results. (I have done this and I was actually slightly embarrassed by my number)
The bottom line is this. Do not give an electronic device too much power. Not in your relationships. Not in your life.
Put a little distance between you and your phone every now and then. And ask your partner to do the same.
8) Always & Never
You always do this. You always say that.
You never listen to me. You never do what you say.
These words can make anything you say to your partner feel like such a personal attack. Your partner is probably going to start defending themselves against your accusations.
And let’s be honest. You are most likely using these words out of frustration. You are trying your best to get your point across. Add an “always” or a “never” in the sentence and it just feels more powerful.
That’s how I feel. I feel like I pull those two words out when I feel very strongly about something and I am desperate to make my husband see my point. Let me rephrase that. I am desperate to make my husband see that my point is right.
But this usually backfires. He does not see my point and it takes the conversation in an entirely new direction. And that direction is usually not positive or productive.
Try to be more aware of the words you use.
And if you have a deep love for these two words (like I do), try this.
Stick to the facts. Stay focused on the exact situation you are talking about.
I’m a fan of celebrations.
I like birthday parties. Even ones that have screaming children running around like wild animals because they have eaten their body weight in cupcakes.
I like baby showers and wedding showers. Don’t even get me started on my love for weddings.
Truth be told, I like anything that involves some kind of dessert.
I think we could all benefit from adding more celebrations to our lives. More celebrations to our relationships.
No need to wait for a specific date on the calendar or a big life event.
Add more mini celebrations to your life. Your relationship will thank you!
P.S. Try picking out a fun or positive word every day that has to do with your relationship. Oh, and it has to start with the same letter as the day of the week.
Make out Monday… Trusting Tuesday… you get the gist!
My daughter and I pick a word of the day every morning and it is just a small way to celebrate the day.
Building a healthy relationship is not a piece of cake. All that talk about celebrations and I can’t stop thinking about cake. DANG!
You will come upon some sharp turns and rough patches that leaving you feeling sad or drained. Leave you questioning everything.
A healthy relationship is all about looking at those issues through a different lens.
What if you saw every problem, issue or disagreement as an opportunity to improve.
That sounds like a pretty good way to look at things.
So when an opportunity arises, make sure you take it.
What do you think of these tips on how to have a healthy relationship? Drop a comment.
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