How To Have a Successful Marriage: 6 Super Helpful Ideas
Tips For A Successful Marriage
Let’s talk about how to have a successful marriage.
Let’s take a deep dive into marriage-infested waters.
Marriage is hard. It’s like a Rubik’s Cube with all the moving parts. Except for no perfectly put-together ending. (if you can actually figure one of those things out)
Let’s make sure that we don’t think for one second that a successful marriage means anything near a perfect, challenge-free one.
Instead of thinking of an end destination or a “we made it” moment think more in terms of “we are making it” moments.
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Here Are 6 Ideas About How To Have a Successful Marriage
1) Communication is Your Friend
Like your best friend.
For many, including myself, communication can feel like such an obvious thing. We assume that open and active communication will always be a star player in our relationships.
But that is not always the case. Communication in the long term takes real effort. Consistent effort.
If a couple is killin’ it on the communication front then there is some serious work going on behind the scenes.
My favorite thing about open, honest, and healthy communication is that it prevents us from hiding from the hard stuff. The things that are not always our favorite topics to discuss.
We all know that stuff will find us eventually.
While communication is not easy by any means, the effort put in will always be well worth it.
Here’s a deeper dive into communication in marriage!
2) Don’t Fight Change
People change and grow. Relationships grow and change and evolve.
And there very well might be some growing pains along the way. While change in itself is hard, fighting change can present more of a challenge.
This is one of those areas where communication will come in clutch.
If you and your partner make it a point to really talk and listen to each other on a regular basis, changes in any form will (most likely) not feel like a jolt to the system.
One thing I find really helpful when it comes to changes or really just anything that makes me feel a little off is writing.
Writing in a notebook always has this way of taking my heightened emotions down just a little. And it can work wonders for putting things in perspective.
I also like to remind myself that change is not always bad. Low-rise jeans used to be in. All those poor buttcracks that were just a centimeter or two away from hanging out at all times.
3) Make Time For Each Other
We all get the same amount of hours in a day. We also all have differing amounts of things on our plates day to day.
While being busy is a very real thing, try not to let being busy become a recurring reason why you and your partner aren’t spending quality time together.
Always remember that we are aiming for quality over quantity here.
My family and I moved to Tennessee recently and we have absolutely no family here. We moved here actually not knowing a single person. So safe to say that weekly date nights that involve leaving the house are not happening right now.
But while I could (and I have) feel sorry for myself about the situation, there are better ways to spend my precious time and energy.
I try to think about what I can make happen. Or what can my husband and I make happen?
Can we go for a walk once the kids are in bed? Can we have dinner on the patio?
Think of ways you and your partner can carve out some time to focus solely on each other.
BTW: These TableTopics have been a game changer for my husband and me in igniting some new and fun conversations. I know we aren’t the only couple that somehow always ends up talking about our kiddos!
4) Focus on Yourself
You are a pretty important part of your relationship.
You are also a complete person separate from that relationship. It can be easy to forget that.
Being part of a “we” does not take away from the fact that you are still your own person.
There should always be room for you. Space for you to focus on yourself.
You and your partner don’t enter a relationship and morph into one being. You will without a doubt be able to show up so much better for your partner and your relationship when you make it a point to show up for yourself.
These personal growth books are for sure worth checking out.
Also, here are some more in-depth ideas on how to work on yourself as a person.
5) Give The Benefit of The Doubt
OK, this is not at all to imply we should just let anything slide and always assume the best. That is by no means my recommendation.
Especially not if your partner ate those amazing leftovers of yours without asking. That is a true crime! (kidding, of course…but something like that can definitely feel like a personal attack)
I remember a time in my marriage when my husband and I were viewing every choice and action the other took as some kind of sinister plot.
And maybe that idea rings true in Lifetime movies, it is usually not the case in real life.
Assuming the best can save the day sometimes.
It’s a type of mindset that can help move any issue or challenge in a better direction. And help to stay on topic rather than lashing out at each other.
6) Appreciate Your Partner
It is oh so easy to see and openly acknowledge all the shortcomings of your partners. SO EASY!
It takes me no time at all to point out where I feel my husband is falling short.
But this type of mindset causes us to miss all the things our partners are doing. And chances are they are doing some things right.
When I give a small compliment or say thank you or acknowledge something my husband has done it always serves my marriage well.
Are you ever guilty of reading something and thinking it makes sense but not going all in when it comes to applying it to your life?
I know I’m like that.
But building lives we love and being in relationships that bring us joy is so important. It’s everything.
Small choices. Small actions and habits. That’s where it’s at.
And we are all capable of starting small.
Have any tips on how to have a successful marriage?
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