How To Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage

How To Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage

how to keep the spark alive in your marriage

Marriage. Such a complicated thing. 

Amazing? Heck yeah.

Challenging? DUH. 

How to keep the spark alive in your marriage. Heavy idea. We don’t really want to face the fact that the spark is fading away. 

But this is completely normal. Every relationship goes through different seasons. And you can fall into a routine. Now, I love a good routine! But marriage and routines do not go together like birds of a feather. At least not when the word spark is involved. 

We all heard about the honeymoon phase, right? More specifically, we have heard about the honeymoon phase going away. 

Here’s the thing. It will probably not always be exactly how it was in those super early stages of your relationship. But does that have to be a bad thing? 

We do not have to just settle and say things are the way they are. We can keep our relationships a priority. And just maybe we can make them better and better over the years. 

Dare I say we can work to make things even better than the honeymoon phase!

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Here Are Some Tips on How To Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage

1) Put a Value on Quality Time

There will always be things pulling you both this way and that way. 

A busy life can take a toll on any relationship. Any idea why this is? The answer is pretty simple. Marriage is easy to put on the back burner. It is one of the first things we stop worrying about. 

That is until things are feeling off and we know something needs to give. 

In order to have the amazing relationship you deserve, you have to spend time together. 

Put a value on spending time together. Just the two of you. It may not always be easy. But it will always be worth it.

Depending on your schedules and responsibilities, you may have to get a little creative.

Here are some at-home date nights my husband and I love. 

2) Make Your Relationship a Priority

You have to make your relationship a priority. You have to. We all have to. 

When you think of all the things you need to take care of, make sure your marriage is on that list. 

Your marriage is important to you. Obviously, right? Make sure you are treating it that way.

3) The Small Things

At the start of a relationship, it is all about the little stuff. Over time, that little stuff becomes a distant memory. 

How many times do we talk about the past and say “remember when.” Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good walk down memory lane. It is a nice way to give your relationship a quick boost.

But it takes more than nice memories to make your marriage awesome. 

You need to be doing the little things in your marriage to constantly create new memories. 

Check out these small things every marriage needs!

4) Surprise! 

One of my favorite memories is when my husband surprised me for a date night. It was something pretty simple. But the fact that he thought to do it made me feel so loved. 

Surprises don’t need to be extravagant. And it’s not realistic to expect grand gestures left and right. 

What is the purpose of a surprise? To show your partner you were thinking of them. To show that you took the time to think of something that would make them happy. 

Make a favorite dinner. Stock the fridge with their drink of choice. Rent a movie they have been wanting to see.

Little surprises will show your spouse that you think of them when they are not there. 

5) Communicate

We all know communication is key for a thriving relationship. But talking about the hard stuff is hard. Really hard!

It is easier to keep putting off how you feel. If you are anything like me, ruffling feathers feels more like a worst-case scenario.

But open lines of communication can clear up a lot of misunderstandings. And this can definitely keep the spark alive. 

Talk about things before they have had a chance to build up inside you for months.

Check out these tips on healthy communication!

6) Two Words: Love Language

First of all, every single couple out there needs to read this book! SERIOUSLY!

I guarantee this will have a positive impact on your relationship. 

7) Show Affection

Kisses, hugs and butt slaps keep that spark burning bright. 

They also take very little time. We are talking a few seconds. There is always time to spare a few seconds for some lovin. 

We can not just assume our partner knows how we feel. We have to show it. 

8) Stop Comparing ASAP

Comparing your relationship to others is probably not going to help it one little bit. 

But you know what it can do? Comparing can actually create issues that weren’t even there. It can get your brain creating destructive thoughts that end up with you coming to the conclusion that your relationship doesn’t measure up.

Going down this path will not end well. So try your best to avoid it. Remind yourself that the only relationship that has an impact on your life is yours.

9) Choose 

Listen up. You can read every little advice nugget out there. But real changes will only happen when you choose to do something. Choose to take some action. 

If you want to improve your relationship, choose to do things that will improve it. 


Here is one important thing you should always remember. Your relationship will never be perfect. NEVER.

There will be amazing times and some not so amazing times. There will be times when things will feel off. 

But you and your partner are in control of what kind of marriage you have.

Make the choices that work toward creating your idea of a healthy and happy relationship.

Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your marriage!

Any tips on how to keep the spark alive in your marriage? Drop a comment and let’s chat!

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How To Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage

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