How To Make A Relationship Work: 8 Practical and Helpful Tips
How To Make A Relationship Last
When it comes to how to make a relationship work, the answer will be different for everyone.
No secret recipe for success that your family just forgot to pass down.
Relationships are tricky. No way around that.
They are messy. They are full of moving parts that don’t always line up as they should.
Think about all the relationships that fail. Man, that number is high. Really high!
You can read all the relationship advice you can get your hands on. You can read every marriage book.
That still will not guarantee you a lasting relationship. But I don’t think it will hurt.
No relationship is fail-proof. We all face a different set of challenges.
But I think there are two big factors that can give your relationship a leg up. Attitude and effort.
Approach your relationship with a positive attitude. And be ready to put in some effort.
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Here Are 8 Tips on How To Make a Relationship Work
Talk to my partner. OK.
You might be thinking you do this all the time. And you probably do.
But this is more about what exactly you are talking about.
Are you talking openly about your feelings and opinions? Are you talking about the issues that may feel uncomfortable to bring up?
Chit-chat about the weather, dinner, or the new guy at work that seems pretty cool is normal. We all have those conversations. And we should keep having those conversations.
Make sure you are also making time for deeper discussions. The things that are a little bit below the surface.
Is there something on your mind right now that you have been wanting to bring up but have continuously put off? Make a plan right now about when you will bring it up.
I promise you will feel so much better afterward.
Have some fun with your partner.
Here’s the thing with fun. You guys might have different ideas for fun activities.
I mean, I think watching baking shows on TV is fun. My husband does not share that opinion.
Video games are more his thing. Are they mine? Not really. (I have to admit I have found a few video games I actually enjoy playing with him)
But you have to take turns being in charge.
This is a great way to keep things interesting and get out of your comfort zone a little.
And you may actually enjoy something your partner thinks is fun.
Fun is such a big part of those early stages of relationships.
It’s normal for the fun level to go down a notch or two over the years. But don’t let the idea of having fun with your partner disappear completely from your life.
3) Have a Life of Your Own
You are meant to have your own life.
Being in a relationship doesn’t change this. You are still a person separate from the person you love.
You and your partner do not need to be attached at the hip to have a successful relationship.
Spending time apart is healthy. For you and for your relationship.
Don’t lose yourself. Don’t take yourself off the list of things that are important.
Practice personal growth. (these personal growth books are too good not to read)
Learn something new. Set goals for yourself.
Check out these tips on how to live your best life!
4) Practice Gratitude
I am just going to say it. Gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. The absolute best!
Thank your partner more. Show appreciation in your day-to-day interactions.
My guess is you are doing things for your partner throughout the day. And vice versa.
This is about noticing and acknowledging the little things. And this is also about not taking our partners for granted.
Honestly, adding more gratitude to all areas of your life will be amazing for you.
But I promise you that gratitude will have a positive impact on your relationship. You could even have a special journal dedicated to this.
If you choose to focus on one thing for your relationship, make it gratitude.
5) Know When To Pause
I wish my mouth had a pause button. A lot of disagreements in my marriage have taken a sharp turn for the worst because of my mouth.
I do not like to leave an argument unresolved. It drives me bonkers.
But there has to be a point when you hit the pause button. The trouble is finding that point.
For my husband and me, the pause button comes in handy when one of us starts getting mean. When we start saying things that are not helping the conversation move in a positive direction, we know it is time.
Mean words equal a pause in my marriage.
I have read many times to never go to bed angry. And in a perfect world, that would work.
Sometimes, you might go to bed mad or frustrated. But that is better than going to bed having said something you can’t take back.
6) Right or Wrong
I’m right. You’re wrong.
I have said those exact words to my husband. You can guess how well that discussion turned out.
The idea of right and wrong can wreak havoc on any relationship.
This is a really tough one.
I think it is human nature to believe we are right. We see something from our perspective. And to us, our way is the right way.
This is not about giving in to your partner. That’s not solving the issue.
This is about changing your focus from right or wrong to the actual issue or topic at hand.
Tackle the problem. Point the boxing gloves at the problem rather than each other.
Name the problem. And then name the goal you both have for the discussion.
And always remember you can disagree without fighting about it. You can disagree and still be kind to each other.
7) Love Languages
Read this book! It is so flipping good!
It takes a deep dive into the different ways people give and receive love. And it can really provide some clarity in your relationship.
This is one of those books that every couple out there should read. I know I wish I had gotten my hands on it about 8 years sooner than I did.
This book is a good one too! It is broken up into very small chunks which makes it easy to understand and digest. And it is extremely relatable.
Honestly, read lots of marriage books. They are great tools that can help you gain some insight into how and why your relationship works the way it does.
8) It Will Always Take Work
It takes constant work to make your relationship work. That’s a mouthful.
I wish it was as simple as loving the heck out of each other. Loving each other is obviously pretty important.
But it takes a lot more than love to build a kick-butt relationship.
Your happily ever after is bound to have some kinks. That’s OK. Don’t get discouraged.
Love your partner through the kinks.
That’s what being in a relationship is all about. Taking on the good, the bad, and the ugly as a team.
Have any advice on how to make a relationship work? Share away!
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