How To Stay in Love

How To Stay in Love With Your Spouse

how to stay in love

Choosing To Stay in Love

When it comes to the topic of how to stay in love with your spouse, the list of ideas could be endless.

You could ask 10 different people and get 10 completely different answers. 

There is not (and never will be) a one size fits all approach to love and relationships.

Your marriage manual to everlasting happiness was not lost in the mail. 

But I think we can all agree that we want to create happy and fulfilling relationships. 

Oh, and we probably plan on being in love with our partners for the long haul. 

I think we can agree on something else too. Falling in love is easy, right? (well, for the most part)

Now, let me hit you with a truth that is not fun to think about. (let me put my not-so-awesome marriage police hat on real quick)

Those early feelings of butterflies and bliss may not always be so strong and present.

We have all heard about the honeymoon phase in a relationship. That magical sliver of time when you view your partner as just a smidge away from perfect. 

That time when you are obsessed with the way they smell and can’t imagine ever having very intense arguments about dirty socks always landing (and staying) on the floor right next to the hamper. Just me?

*I know I am not the only person that developed a very skewed image of what it takes to build and maintain happy and healthy marriages*

Here’s the thing. All relationships, at some point or another, will require some upkeep. 

Our homes need upkeep. Our cars need upkeep. Marriages need upkeep. 

This is about tips and tools that can help with that upkeep. And believe me, that upkeep will serve you and your marriage well. 

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Here are 11 Tips All About How To Stay in Love With Your Spouse

1) Love Languages


This book changed my marriage. And I am not exaggerating one bit. 

Love languages are the ways in which we all give and receive love. 

My husband and I have very different love languages. So, both of us were showing love in a way that just didn’t resonate with the other.

Having this knowledge can definitely give your relationship a leg up. 

This book is also such an easy read. It won’t take up much of your time but your relationship will reap the rewards big time. 

I bust this baby out at least once a year as a refresher.  JUST SO GOOD!!

2) Live Your Own Life

Staying in love is about the two of you, right?

But you are a person aside from your relationship. It is so important to work on yourself and the relationship you have with yourself.

Doing that will only help your marriage grow and thrive over the years. 

Maintaining a sense of self is healthy but it is also very necessary. 

Your life should not be entirely centered around your partner. Your happiness should not be centered around them either. 

That can easily happen if both people do not make sure they have a life apart from their spouse. 

3) Accept and Allow Room For Change

You will not feel head over heels in love with your partner every single day for as long as you both shall live. 

Your relationship will not be rainbows and butterflies all the time. 

There will be seasons. And not every season will be your favorite.

It is very easy to get sucked into unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should look like. 

No relationship is immune to the struggles and hardships that come along with life. Not a single one. Even the ones that you think have it all together. 

Change and growth happen. Whether we want them to or not. Don’t run and hide from change like it is a one-eyed monster out to get you. 

The key is to stay present and carve a path together.

Learn together. Grow together. This can help you stay together, connected, and in love. 

4) Communication

Healthy communication is vital. It is a need for every relationship. 

A huge part of communication has to do with listening.

So often I feel like there can be a lot of talking going on but not a lot of listening. 

I love to have marriage meetings. And they are just what they sound like. Meetings all about your marriage. 

This is the perfect way to keep lines of communication open and also address issues before they get swept under the rug and then creep back up 6 months later an even bigger issue than they were in the first place. 

These meetings might not feel natural at first. But if you stay consistent, then they should be something you look forward to. 

They should be a safe space where each person comes and feels safe to share how they are truly feeling and what they truly need. 

5) The Small Stuff

The little things in marriage are so powerful.

And they are also the things that might fade into the background over time. 

A note on the bathroom mirror. A hug on the way out the door (or when they come in at the end of the day). Holding hands while walking into a restaurant. Sending a sweet afternoon text. 

These things make a difference!

These seemingly small gestures make people feel loved and valued. I know that is how they make me feel. 

6) Perseverance

Difficult times will happen. 

What do we do then? Act like everything is fine? Leave?

We can’t just panic and run for the door every time things get rocky. 

Perseverance may not sound sexy or romantic to most. But romantic ideas are not going to keep you and your spouse happy and in love for the long haul.

And being determined to consistently work on and better your marriage over time sounds pretty sexy to me. 

7) Look Up

You know what I am referring to, right?

Phones! More specifically, how often those phones are being used.

Other generations did not have to deal with this. And to be honest, sometimes I wish I didn’t either. 

Phones aren’t going anywhere though. They should not, however, get more of your attention than your spouse does. And vice versa. 

It might not seem like a huge deal breaker.

But I do believe that putting phones away can work wonders for your love life and your LOVE life. Get it? 

(intimacy… I was referring to intimacy)

To be clear, I’m not blaming phones for the demise of every happy relationship.

Am I blaming them for some couples feeling distant from each other? YES! 

8) Have Fun


Try new and different things.

I am sure you did not fall for your partner because they were such a bore.

Having fun can really serve as a great way to remember why you did fall for your partner. 

Also, there are so many things in life that are not high up there on the fun meter. So we NEED fun to balance things out. 

9) Fight Fair

One thing I can guarantee is that you and your spouse will disagree. On tiny things and big things and many sized things in between.

How disagreements or fights are handled will have a massive impact on your marriage. 

Here is an in-depth look at the concept of fighting fair!

10) Gratitude

Gratitude is one of those ideas that can impact your life in so many positive ways. 

And the same is true for your marriage. Your marriage will benefit greatly if gratitude is present on a consistent basis. 

We can often take on certain roles in a relationship. And over time, things just keep on going like a well-oiled machine.

It is so important to point out and acknowledge someone for something they do. No matter the size. 

11) Support Each Other

There is nothing like having someone in your corner. 

We all want to feel as if someone has our back. 

We all want someone to be there for us. In good times and in bad, right?

True support really is life-changing. 

Being in love is not like frolicking through a beautiful forest. Well, actually I guess it could be like that.

Just be ready for a giant wolf to jump out every now and then. And watch out for those sneaky little piles of quicksand.

All kidding aside, your marriage will not always be shiny and beautiful. But choosing your partner and choosing to love each other is really beautiful.

And while there is no surefire way to keep the love alive and strong in your marriage, there is one thing that will always be a good choice. 


Have any tips on how to stay in love with your spouse?

You Might Also Like:

5 Qualities of Long-Lasting Relationships 

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5 Amazing Books That Will Improve Your Marriage

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How To Stay in Love With Your Spouse

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