How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: 10 Things You Can Start Doing Today
Real talk. I compare.
So glad I got that off my chest.
Is there a secret to figuring out how to stop comparing yourself to others?
A special pill to take that makes you immune to it?
Well, if there is a secret to stop comparing, no one has shared it with me yet. And I know for a fact I haven’t seen an anti-comparison pill anywhere on the shelf the last time I bought cough medicine.
Maybe I haven’t been looking in the right spot.
But I do have something to share with you. Now, it is not a secret code that I have been keeping locked away. But it is still pretty cool.
Think more along the lines of a hand-drawn road map. It is not perfect but it can get you there. And by there, I mean a place where you are not constantly comparing yourself to every single person, picture or story you see.
Let’s start with one thing I know to be true.
Comparison is a butthead. Yes, a big old butthead. I’m throwing it back to the names I used to call my big sister when I was 12 and she wouldn’t let me hang out with her and her super cool friends.
Comparison. The mother of all things that have had the power to break me going back as far as I can remember.
The worst thing about comparison is that we know we should not be doing it. We know! With every fiber of our being, we know it is not right. We hear it all the time.
But it is hard. Almost as hard as going shopping at Target and not grabbing a yummy drink from Starbucks. I said almost. I get sucked in every single time with that delicious aroma.
Have no fear. There is hope.
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Here Are 10 Tips To Help You Learn How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
1) What Has it Done for You?
Think about comparison as if it was another person.
What has it ever done for you? When you dive down that comparison rabbit hole, how do you feel?
Write this stuff down! Really! Do it right now.
That way you can go back and read it as a refresher when the comparison bug bites you. Because it will, my friend.
Use this question as a constant reminder that too much comparison, judgment, and jealousy is not how you want to be spending your time.
2) Read a Book
I recommend reading a book but that may be due to my deep, deep love for them.
But you can listen to an inspiring podcast or watch a TED talk. Heck, even make a vision board.
Put the focus on improving yourself. Focus on your own personal development.
Work on being the best version of yourself you can be!
This book is a must-read! I recently finished it and loved every single word on every single page!
(These personal growth books are also among the best of the best)
3) Turn Comparison into Motivation
When you see someone killin’ it, compliment them.
Train your brain to compliment them and then move on. And I don’t mean you have to actually talk to them. You can if you want! But the real point is to say something nice about them to yourself. Be happy for them.
What exactly did you see in someone else that made you start comparing? Use this as motivation.
Create a goal for yourself. Need some help with setting and achieving goals? Check this out!
Be too busy bettering yourself to the point where you have much less time for comparing.
4) Keep it Realistic
Isn’t it funny how we take one look at a happy picture and we make about 76 assumptions about how perfect their life must be? I just did this yesterday.
Have you ever smiled for a camera while holding back tears? Or had to make it through a family function looking like the poster of happiness when inside you felt the complete opposite? The answer is yes for most of us.
Comparing is a slippery slope.
Do not get swept up in the comparison avalanche.
But let’s be completely honest. You will from time to time. The key is to grab hold of a tree branch and pull yourself out.
Do a little reality check. Remind yourself that you do not know the inner workings of another person’s life. Just like most don’t know everything about your inner world. Simple as that.
5) Live Your Ideal Life
Listen up. Really listen. Everyone’s ideal life looks different.
Not that woman you saw a picture of while scrolling through Instagram. Not your neighbor. Or the beautiful woman who does your eyebrows and has flawless makeup. Oh, and bouncy hair and the perfect face shape for bangs.
It is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing or what everyone else has. But make sure you are not wasting your energy on ideas that you aren’t really even that into.
I am sure you could find a much better use for all that energy.
6) Compare Yourself to…
When did life become such a competition?
Consider this little nugget of wisdom. Who do you have the power to change? You know the answer, right?
7) Name Some Truths
OK, this one may seem a little silly but stay with me here.
Start naming things that every person out there has in common.
Everyone poops. Has morning breath. Gets cranky.
Has struggles. Cries sometimes. Yells. Screams. Loses their sh*t.
Gets food stuck in their teeth and no one tells them for hours. Now, that’s the worst.
If anything, doing this makes me laugh a little. I ride that humor train to a better state of mind.
8) Social Media
Let me throw out a completely crazy idea.
Do not touch your phone for an hour before bed. Or maybe not for an hour when you wake up. Or maybe even take a break from social media completely. Gasp! Gasp again!
Most things you see on social media are put through the car wash first. All the yuck is gone and you are just seeing the clean exterior.
Do not let a picture you see snowball into you imagining someone’s entire life. Oh, and then comparing their seemingly perfectly life to your life. Especially if you are currently sitting on the couch eating chips in stained sweatpants.
Social media and the amount of time you spend on it is something you have complete control over. COMPLETE!
When you find your brain is in the comparison fast lane, change it up. Do yourself a favor and switch over to the gratitude lane.
Train your brain to stop, drop and be grateful. You don’t have to physically drop anything. But you get what I was going for there? I hope!
Name at least one thing you are thankful for.
You need to make this a habit. It has the power to help in creating a positive outlook on your life.
10) Question Time
What if someone was always comparing themselves to you?
What would you think? How would you feel?
Picture yourself as a fly on the wall when someone was talking about how perfect your life is. You might be a little flattered. And then you might start laughing your butt off because you know the truth.
Someone has looked at you and their brain has let loose with all the ways you are better. Really think about what you would say to that person.
Work on saying this to yourself.
Comparison will get a grip on you if you let it and it won’t let go. Picture the clingiest toddler ever holding on to your leg for dear life.
None of this is a method for banishing comparison from your life completely. I wish I could do that for you. For myself.
But we can make things better. It may take some constant rewiring going on upstairs. But it will be more than worth it to escape the comparison mindset.
Be happy with what you got! WHAT YOU GOT!
Repeat after me. You see the tip of the iceberg. That’s it.
Comparison is a great option if you want to spend way too much of your life worrying about someone else’s life. Which means you are missing all the sparkly good stuff in your own life.
Please TRY not to do that.
Any tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others? Drop a comment.
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