How To Work Through Relationship Problems
How To Discuss Relationship Problems Without Fighting
If we are going to talk about how to work through relationship problems, let me start this off with one very important concept.
Every single relationship out there has problems. Every single one has issues and conflict!
I am sure you know that but it is always nice to hear a little reminder. I know with the way social media is these days it can sometimes feel as if your relationship is the only one riding the struggle bus.
But have no fear, my friend. Behind every lovey-dovey picture you see on the internet are two people that face challenges just like the rest of us.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.
OK, wait. I would not consider problems a good part of my marriage.
But problems are going to pop up whether we want them to or not.
Here’s the thing though!
In a relationship, we either have the choice to deal with our problems or avoid them completely.
And dealing with our problems is definitely a much better choice than going with avoidance. TRUST ME!
These tips and ideas won’t change the fact that your relationship will face challenges. But what these tips will do is help you and your partner deal with these struggles and challenges in a healthy and effective way.
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Here Are 5 Tips All About How To Work Through Relationship Problems
1) Bring it Up
You might be thinking… DUH!
Bringing up a problem is obviously an extremely important step.
But while this step seems super simple, I actually think many of us struggle with it.
Have you ever had weeds in your yard?
What happens when you just leave those weeds to do their thing? They grow and multiply like crazy.
That is exactly what can happen if you have an issue but put off bringing it up. I am speaking from very personal experience.
Bringing up an issue is SO MUCH easier said than done. I know! But man oh man, pushing through that little bit of awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings is always a better option than putting something off!
Don’t let your relationship be taken over by weeds.
2) How was the Takeoff?
Wondering what I mean by that? Probably.
Let me explain!
A rough start to a serious conversation can be a recipe for disaster. It can basically set a conversation up for failure.
How you approach a conversation is so crucial.
Think about if you walked into your home and your partner demanded that you needed to talk immediately. I don’t think you would reply with a calm demeanor and smile on your face. You would probably be taken aback.
And I know for me, if my husband said that, I would automatically be on the defense. Starting a discussion off on the defense is not likely to result in a positive or productive outcome.
For me, this means it takes a little planning when it comes to important discussions.
Put your listening ears on. This is something I have said to my 7-year-old daughter probably thousands of times.
Many times we can hear what someone is saying to us but we are not actively listening to them.
This is a tough one. Truly listening to someone is hard as it is but it can be made even more difficult during heated discussions or disagreements.
Listening is all about really paying attention. It is about letting your partner speak without interruptions. It is about asking questions to clarify that you understand the way they are feeling or the point they are trying to get across.
Working on listening skills can really set the foundation for how a couple deals with and works through conflict.
4) Be Completely Honest
For any issue to be completely resolved, everyone involved needs to be completely honest.
Now, this does not mean that people should just blurt out any and everything they want to say with no regard for how it will impact the other person.
Honesty does not mean it is ok to be unkind or cruel.
But this does mean that both people should speak freely and let their feelings out even if they feel like what they are about to say may not be received well by their partner.
Working through a problem is not gonna be pretty. It might be a little messy, a little awkward and some feelings might get hurt. That’s normal.
If we shy away from being completely honest then the problem at hand is going to pop up again at another time! Guaranteed.
I want to mention real quick that books are a great tool when it comes to improving all aspects of your relationship.
This book and this one are AMAZING! They are definitely worth the read.
5) Different is Not Wrong
You and your partner are not going to see every situation the same way. You may have very different perspectives and feelings on a situation. Actually, I am sure there will come a time when you and your partner feel differently about a situation.
We are all unique human beings after all!
The key is to not get caught up in the “right” and “wrong” trap. This trap basically keeps you going in circles until someone just gives in to the other person for the mere sake of escaping the trap without losing their mind. LITERALLY.
Going in circles in an argument or discussion is exhausting. I can recall a few times that my husband and I talked about something for hours and in the end, we had no idea what we actually said to each other over that entire time.
Right and wrong. Win and lose. These paths are not going to help your relationship in any way.
Bumps in the road are going to happen. Don’t let these bumps turn into giant potholes that swallow your relationship up whole and spit it out looking like something you don’t like or recognize!
Problems are no match for your relationship!
Check out Marriage Fitness With Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your relationship!
Do you have any tips on how to work through relationship problems?
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