Keys To a Successful Marriage: 2 Things That Are 100% Needed
Elements of a Successful Marriage
What are the keys to a successful marriage?
Are there certain things that absolutely need to be happening in order for a relationship to qualify as a success?
I wish those questions had simple and straightforward answers.
I wish there was a marriage checklist that made things nice and easy.
But here’s the deal.
There’s no universal checklist that shows up a few weeks after you say your vows.
And there is no one RIGHT answer that will give your marriage a better chance than any other one out there.
When it comes to marriage advice, there is one thing I know to be true without a shadow of a doubt.
There is no shortage of it! You will have no trouble finding it and getting sucked in.
It is very easy to start reading a simple article about date nights and then you look up and it is 3 hours past your bedtime. OOPS!
Now, I love to read about marriage. Talk about marriage. Write about marriage. I mean, obviously.
But one thing that can happen is information overload.
Information overload is followed by becoming overwhelmed and then it can keep going downhill from there.
I think there are things that should be happening in every marriage. Habits and behaviors that set a relationship up for success.
My husband and I have been together for over 16 years and I have learned so dang much during all that time.
And one major thing I have learned is that you can’t fix everything all at once.
Slow and steady is the way to go. The road to a successful marriage is paved with consistent effort and work.
With just an hour of searching, I bet you could find over a hundred different things that could be considered elements of a successful marriage.
And in some way, you could probably relate to all of them. But that information overload is going to hit at some point.
It’s like standing in front of the biggest buffet you have ever seen and having no idea where to start.
For the record, I like to start a buffet with potatoes. Carb lover to the core right here.
The ideas I am going to share are things that had a massive impact on the happiness, health, and success of my marriage.
These 2 things are really important pillars that have helped me build up and keep my marriage strong and steady. And I am confident they can and will help you too!
No information overload with these two ideas. Just simple, straightforward, and seriously helpful tips for your marriage.
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Here Are 2 Huge Keys To a Successful Marriage
Communication is crucial. A lack of communication can be toxic.
Those are true statements.
But communication is such a broad topic.
What is communication?
The answer to that question is so complex.
So many aspects of your marriage can be lumped into the communication category.
How you talk to one another. How you share your feelings and opinions. Any and every interaction you share.
For many years in my marriage, I feel like we were just scratching the surface of communication.
I bet you can relate to some of this.
There was a lot of sweeping things under the rug.
A lot of trying not to rock the boat. Trying to steer in the complete opposite direction of rough waters.
A lot of eye-rolling and then playing it off like I saw a spider on the ceiling.
Tons of jumping to conclusions. Assuming. So much blaming the other person. A lot of use of the word “you.”
A lot of listening to respond rather than listening to see where the other person was coming from.
This is how I feel and what are you going to do about it. That was my mindset.
I’ll give you one guess on how well these things helped my husband and me when it came to communication.
A lot of damage was done. And not as much effort was put into trying to fully repair that damage.
Marriage is full of funny things and sad things. Hard things and really uncomfortable things.
The real key to communication is leaning into all those things.
Leaning in and dealing with it all.
Sometimes it can feel like you and your partner just don’t communicate.
But it really comes down to just not communicating well. Communicating in a way that is having negative repercussions.
Communication is a beast. At some point, I’m sure most marriages have struggled with it in some way or another. And I bet still struggle with it at times.
I know my husband and I have not discovered the secret sauce to ALWAYS communicating as effectively as we should.
But I married a human being which means perfection is off the table.
Making the choice to tackle (and keep tackling) communication issues will only result in really good things for your marriage.
And I truly believe if you can get your communication ducks in a row (for the most part) then a lot of other things may start falling into place.
Definitely check out this article that goes more in-depth on ways to improve communication.
2) Personal Growth
Working on your marriage is something you should always make a top priority.
But working on self-improvement needs to be a top priority too.
For me, personal growth has gone hand in hand with responsibility.
I have become much more aware of bad habits or poor choices that I’m prone to.
I now see that my spouse chooses how he acts and he is not responsible for how I act. My actions are completely on me.
Personal growth has always been a passion of mine. I mean, I would read every book on the topic and listen to every podcast out there. But that’s sort of where it ended. I read or I listened. And then I went about my life.
Real change is hard, people. Habits that you know are not serving you or your relationship are hard to break.
Being aware of them is only half the battle.
In the past year, I have really tried to be much more intentional when it comes to truly working on myself. And not just working on myself so I am a better partner.
Working on myself so I am a better person. So I am a happier person.
You could work on your marriage with everything you have but there’s a big chance of it falling short if you don’t put that same effort into working on yourself.
To create a really kick-butt marriage, you need to bring your best self to the table. And the same with your partner.
When you think of marriage and what you can do to make things better, never forget to look inward!
*If you are a book lover like me, these personal growth books are so dang good.*
When I think of a successful marriage, I think of a marriage that is enjoyable.
Through everything life or marriage throws at us, we all want to enjoy our marriage more. Enjoy the relationship we have with our partner.
And of course, enjoy life more.
How can I invest in my marriage? This is a question you should ask yourself.
And communication and personal growth are two incredible ways you can invest in your marriage (and yourself).
What’s your take on these keys to a successful marriage? Drop a comment!
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