4 Major Marriage Rules You Definitely Want To Follow
Ground Rules For Marriage
These marriage rules are going to make marriage so easy.
You and I both know that is not at all true. But dang, I wish it was!
Why does marriage have to be so hard?
This was a thought that kept running through my mind last night.
Why does marriage have to be so hard? Really, why?
I’m sure I could find an inspiring quote to explain it. Something along the lines of the best things in life are worth fighting for.
But I think there is a much simpler answer.
Being human is hard. Being a human being and sharing your life with another human being is even harder.
Don’t even get me started on sharing a bathroom!
Is spending your life with someone amazing? Sure.
But not every day. There are bound to be quite a few days that are basically the opposite of amazing.
The kinds of days that were not on my radar when I stared into my husband’s eyes and said our vows. Last Saturday was one of those days in my marriage.
I feel like I should share one very important detail. We were moving into a new house. And if you have ever moved, then maybe you feel my pain a little.
But I will stop talking about my moving adventures. I’m having flashbacks of my husband and I having a disagreement over a dish towel!
These marriage rules are pretty simple ideas. They are not new or earth-shattering concepts that you have never heard before.
But as simple as they are, I think we all forget them from time to time. We need reminders. I love a good reminder.
I read a lot of marriage advice. A LOT. I also read a lot of marriage books (you have to get your hands on this one and this one).
After reading marriage advice, I almost always look at my marriage in a more positive light. The words of someone else can be all it takes to gain a fresh perspective.
I hope these tips do that for you.
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Here Are 4 Marriage Rules I Swear By in My Marriage
1) Don’t Assume
Have you ever assumed you knew how your partner was feeling? Assumed you knew their opinion on something?
Assumed you knew the next words that were going to come out of your spouse’s mouth? This is my specialty.
Assuming does not help your relationship grow. It does not bring you closer to your partner.
Do you know what it does do? It creates a mess. A mess that doesn’t have to be there.
There is a simple solution to this. We ask.
Ask your spouse how they are feeling. Ask what they are thinking.
If you don’t ask, your mind will create a story. And that story might be the furthest thing from the truth.
Now, I am not perfect so I still assume from time to time. But I try to catch myself assuming. And then I remind myself to stick to the facts and use my words. ASK!
2) Watch Your Mouth
Have you ever said something you later regretted saying?
It’s the worst, right?
Words are so powerful. And we can be so careless with words and how we use them.
This is especially true during heated discussions. We can be downright mean.
And then when things have cooled down, we think everything is right back on track.
But what if it’s not?
What if something was said that is not so easily moved on from?
It’s not realistic to say you will never raise your voice. It’s not realistic to say you will never speak a negative word to your spouse.
But we have to consider the lasting impact our words can have.
Our words can be our strongest weapons. We need to treat them that way.
3) Listen More
Do you really listen to your spouse when they talk?
Like really listen.
Without interrupting. Without tuning them out halfway through their sentence.
I don’t think enough listening is happening in marriages. And I am talking about my marriage too.
So many times, I think back on a conversation and realize neither my husband or I were doing a good job listening.
We were not giving each other the attention we want and deserve.
Really listening and giving another person our undivided attention is a gift. And it’s a gift that is free to give.
It might take some practice. OK, it will definitely take lots of practice.
But don’t make the mistake of underestimating the power of listening to your partner.
We all can relate to how good it feels to be listened to!
You need to celebrate more. Yep!
I’m going to assume your marriage could use some more celebrations. See what I did there? I assumed. Oops.
Maybe your relationship is basically a celebration central. If that’s the case, then you rock.
Maybe you are scratching your head thinking marriage and celebration don’t go together. If that’s the case, you still rock!
I used to think you had to wait for a date on the calendar to celebrate. But that is just silly.
Raise a glass. Toast your marriage.
Cheers to the little things. Cheers to a random Wednesday night filled with snacks and cuddling.
This is not about anything grand or extravagant. You don’t need to break out in song and dance. Unless you really want to.
Find little ways to celebrate your relationship more!
Marriage is a choice. Actually, marriage is made up of an endless amount of choices.
It is accepting that your partner will drive you crazy. They will make you mad. They will make you cry.
But marriage is about continuing to choose them. Continuing to choose the life you have built together.
And it is also about choosing to do something when things feel a little off. Reading this was you doing something.
So when it comes to effort, you are off to a great start.
Have any marriage rules you put in place in your relationship? I would love to hear them!
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