7 Relationship Realities That Need To Be Talked About More
The Brutal Truth About Relationships
Ready for some relationship realities? Of course!
Who doesn’t love a healthy dose of reality?
Relationships require so much from us. And from our partners.
At least that’s how it goes if we want our relationships to be healthy and fulfilling.
Relationships are great and all but dang are they complex. And those complex parts need to be talked about more.
Now, I am all about talking about the good stuff. The happy stuff.
I am a sucker for a good romantic comedy or novel.
But I am also very into talking about the real and raw aspects of relationships!
Here are 7 Must Read Relationship Realities
1) It Won’t Be Easy
Now, hear me out. I don’t want to sound like a negative Nancy here.
But I believe that love can sometimes be romanticized. Actually, I take that back. Not sometimes. Love is definitely romanticized.
Love is portrayed as this magical thing that happens so naturally and is easy peasy!
But we know better. We know that while love can be magical at times, it is not always that way. Sometimes it can be quite the opposite.
There will always be highs and lows. ALWAYS. There is no secret to avoid hardships and struggles in a relationship. That is just not how it works.
But I do think that going in knowing that love is not all rainbows and unicorns can be super helpful when those challenging times do roll around.
2) Work is Required
Work. That doesn’t sound like a very fun word to use when talking about relationships.
We could say effort. Does that sound a little better?
Nope. You know what. We are going to stick with work.
While that may not sound very nice, it is the truth. Relationships take work. It takes work to make things work.
Whoa. That’s a little bit of a tongue twister.
Now…this work will look different for every relationship.
Maybe this is therapy. Maybe this is having weekly meetings. Or maybe this is cracking open some marriage books (read these ASAP).
Here is one thing I know to be absolutely true. The happiest and healthiest relationships did not just happen by accident.
They were built by two people willing to roll up their sleeves and do the work.
3) Assuming is Dangerous
But it is going to happen!
You know why? Because it is so dang easy to do.
I think too much assuming can make or break a relationship. Assuming is a huge communication issue and we all know that communication is a VERY important aspect of a healthy relationship.
Now, I do not have a secret sauce that will make assumptions non-existent in your relationship. I sure wish I did.
But as the former queen of assuming, I do have a handy dandy little trick I use.
Am I assuming? I ask myself this question. Does that seem pretty simple? It is!
The hardest part is making it a habit to ask yourself this question before a situation gets out of hand.
4) You Won’t Always Like Your Partner
This is OK.
I am not saying that you will want to hit them over the head with a frying pan all the time. Especially when they have kept you up half the night with their loud as a dang bear snoring. Just me?
What I am saying is that you will get annoyed with your partner. And vice versa. Heck, I would be more worried if this didn’t happen.
Not being particularly fond of your partner one day does not in any way mean your relationship is doomed. It means you are human and the person you have chosen to spend your life with does not always have to be on your good side.
Sometimes they will be right at the top of your bad side and there is not a dang thing wrong with that.
5) You Won’t Always Be Sure
There will be times when you question if the relationship is going to work. There will be times when you will question if your partner is the one for you.
One of you may want to leave. Or think there is someone else out there for you.
These are thoughts that can happen. But for the most part, these are just thoughts.
And there is no reason to run from them. Let them out. Talk them out with yourself.
Being 100% sure of something ALL THE TIME is a rarity.
6) Bad Times Will Happen
There will without a doubt be some arguments and disagreements. Some of them might get pretty ugly.
You will hurt each other. I know I have said many things to my husband in the heat of the moment that were very cruel.
Did I mean them? NO. But I still said them.
Every relationship out there will always be imperfect because it is made up of two imperfect people.
And I can almost guarantee that every single relationship has been hit by some dark and scary storm clouds at one time or another.
7) There Will Be Change
You will change. Your partner will change.
This means your relationship will inevitably change. But this isn’t a bad thing.
I am not the biggest fan of change. Hello, I like my good old comfort zone.
But change in a relationship is all about growing. And growth is a good thing.
My marriage has changed so much in the last 15 years. Sometimes I literally cringe thinking about how 22 year old me handled arguments. Yikes!
The idea of change can catch us off guard or make us feel uneasy but it’s all about how we look at change. If we can view it from a positive perspective that can make all the difference.
Relationships are messy. They are complicated. They are beautiful.
Relationships are so many things.
One thing they will never be is easy. So appreciate the smooth sailing times and you will be (a little more) ready for the struggle bus times.
Here is one more little piece of marriage advice my mom told me. Always make big life decisions or relationship decisions in the light. DO NOT make life-altering decisions when it is dark outside. Please!
I know that’s not the most mind-blowing advice but it has definitely served me well over the years.
Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your relationship.
Have any relationship realities to share? Drop a comment!
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