4 Toxic Ideas About Relationships

Ideas That Hold Relationships Back

OK, I am going to start things off with a very important question.

What is your favorite romantic comedy?

And I’m not talking about any old rom-com, friend. I am talking about the ONE!

The one with cheesy lines and possibly a few awkward dance scenes.

That movie you watch with a smile on your face. And maybe you even re-watch certain parts 27 times. That’s not just me, right?

You know what most of these rom coms have in common?

There’s always one big issue. I mean, I know that is kind of just how movies go.

Fall in love. Face a problem that knocks you on your butt. Kiss and makeup. And that’s a wrap!

Love has become so romanticized.

Finding your soulmate sounds absolutely wonderful.

Getting married is what dreams are made of, right?

I mean, marriage is amazing. But there are days it is not. There are days where it can feel like treading water just trying to stay afloat.

Do you know what I think the best description of a marriage is? All the stuff that happens after the ending credits of a movie.

Now, unless you have a perfect marriage on your hands, there is always room for learning and growth within a relationship.

I am a cheerleader for marriages. And what I am about to write is my cheer! It’s my cheer for you and for me and for every single relationship out there!

Here Are 4 Toxic Ideas About Relationships

1) Love is Enough

If love was enough, I think the divorce rate would be much lower. Truth bomb comin’ in hot!

Relationships require so much more than love to survive and thrive.

They need trust and communication and patience. Just to name a few.

BTW, here are some communication tips every marriage can benefit from!

Is love a pretty dang important part of your relationship? OF COURSE!

But love is not the answer to everything.

2) I Can Change My Partner

Sometimes all I want is to get my husband to see something the way I see it.

All I want some days is to change him. Just a little bit.

But I know and you know that we do not have the power to change our partner. No matter how hard we try.

And believe me, I have tried! And I have failed.

If we let go of the idea of trying to change our partner then we can start to make real progress in our relationships.

Think about what you are wanting to change. And then comes the most important part.

Talk with your partner. Talk about issues and compromises and ways you can better work together.

Don’t spend your days running in circles trying to accomplish something that is just not in your power to get done.

3) It Shouldn’t Be Work

This is one of those things that I believed.

I did not think that true love should ever be hard. It should never be work.

Well, I was wrong.

Relationships take a lot of work. I actually like to look at it as learning and growing.

And to be completely honest, I don’t think this ever ends. I truly believe the happiest and healthiest relationships are those that are always growing, changing, and developing.

You know what? I don’t even know if I can chalk this idea up to watching a few too many love stories.

I think my grandparents had me convinced that love was never work. They were married for over 45 years and I still remember watching them dance in the kitchen when I was a teenager.

Now, as a grown woman who has been married for over a decade, I know that they faced challenges and had issues just like the rest of us.

I now know that what I saw as a perfect love and perfect partnership took some work.

4) The Right Person

We can get really stuck on this idea of the right person. And in a way, I do like the idea of someone being the right person.

But not in the way that it usually comes across.

Not in the way that associates the right person with everything in our relationships being “right” all the time.

If he was the right person, he would do this or that. If he was right for me, this or that wouldn’t happen.

I know for a fact that I have said things like that in the past.

There is no one out there that is magically going to do everything right. There is no one out there that is going to make everything right in the world.

This way of thinking does two things.

It puts a lot of pressure on your partner. And it sets your relationship up to fail.

If we expect perfection and leave no room for error then we are bound to be pretty disappointed.

Every single relationship out there is going to face some challenges.

But these 4 toxic ideas will only amplify those challenges and can make you feel as if your relationship is doomed.

Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your relationship!

What do you think of these toxic ideas about relationships? Drop a comment!