3 Ideas That Are Sure To Transform Your Marriage
What’s the first thing you think of when you see (or hear or read) the word transform?
When I see that word I immediately think of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.
But don’t worry. We are not about to start a deep discussion about butterflies. Pretty sure you knew that but I just wanted to be crystal clear.
We are going to talk about some big ways to transform your marriage.
Which could actually be related back to the whole caterpillar and butterfly situation?
Butterfly status coming in hot! OK, that sounds a little ridiculous. But you get the point.
This is about taking your marriage to the next level.
And this is not to say that there is anything necessarily wrong with your marriage right now.
News flash. Your marriage does not have to be falling apart in order for you to make some changes.
In fact, the opposite is true. I think checking on our marriages more often is what we all should be doing.
How is my marriage? Consistently asking and honestly answering this question is crucial for any relationship.
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Here Are 3 Huge Ideas That Are Sure To Transform Your Marriage
OK, let me tell you two things.
First off, yes, I am one of those people that truly believe gratitude can change your life!
But secondly, I am also not going to tell you that things will change quickly or easily. Overnight results are not likely.
It takes time and practice to make gratitude a consistent part of your life and your marriage.
Start small with this.
I encourage you to write down at least one thing about your spouse you are grateful for every day.
And I also encourage you to openly express gratitude to your partner. Say thank you for something every day.
This is about pointing out the positive!
It is very easy to notice and hold onto the things that bother us. The things that annoy us. The things we just don’t like.
Will gratitude make your marriage all sunshine and rainbows. No. But it will help.
Putting a spotlight on gratitude can work wonders for the overall vibe of your marriage.
Yeah, there will always be issues and things that just suck.
But gratitude in my marriage is about noticing and lingering on the good stuff and trying to let go of some of the other stuff.
Personal growth has a piece of my heart.
But there is always room for your marriage to grow.
And the best part is that one directly relates to the other.
When you focus on personal growth, not only are you benefiting but it is safe to say your marriage is going to benefit greatly too.
My marriage grew by leaps and bounds when I decided I was going to seriously work on myself.
I grew in the way I communicated. I grew in the way I responded and reacted to my husband.
So my marriage grew in those areas as well.
I want to bring my best self to my relationship. That may sound a little cheesy but it really is true.
And this is not at all about trying to strive to be anywhere near perfect.
People are messy. Life is messy. Marriage can at times be beyond messy.
But it’s important to think about how to be a better human being.
I’m also still always surprised at how much more powerful I feel after I learn something new or after I am introduced to a new perspective.
And that’s the key right there. Growth in any form can make you feel powerful and open your eyes to the choices you can make and the things you can do to improve not only your marriage but also your entire life.
These personal growth books are my favorites!
And this amazing book changed my marriage! Seriously!
3) Go Phone Free
There’s nothing wrong with phones. I’m not trying to talk trash about that lovely thing you pay for every month.
I mean, I love my phone. My husband loves his phone.
But I have learned that danger can creep in when you love your phone too much.
Your phone should not be something that takes away from the relationship you have with your partner. And I think many of us can think of a time when this has happened.
A time when our partner has had to compete with a phone for our attention. And vice versa.
I can speak from personal experience that this just does not feel good.
It hurts when a phone seems more interesting than us. More important than us.
One thing that has really helped my marriage is having designated phone-free zones. Whether this is the bedroom or the dinner table.
This really comes down to your phone not always being within hand’s reach.
Because I think it is actually really easy to not even be aware that you are looking at your phone instead of your partner.
And another thing that has worked wonders is talking about it.
Rather than just getting annoyed and holding it in you can get annoyed but then express that annoyance. In a positive way of course.
It seems like it should be so simple, but it was difficult for me to talk to my husband at first about times that his phone use hurt my feelings.
This relates right back to the second idea we talked about. Personal growth. Learning how to express and communicate in a productive way.
So rather than death stares or eye-rolling, a conversation can be started.
Here is one thing I know for sure.
Your marriage is never going to be the epitome of perfection.
The best and most successful marriages are constantly transforming and growing and adjusting as needed.
The concept of how to transform your marriage should excite you. It should get you fired up.
It’s all about perspective. When an area of your marriage needs some work, it can be scary. Scary to know where to start or how to start.
But here’s the real secret. You just have to start!
Have any tips on how to transform your marriage? Drop a comment!
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