11 Best Ways To Improve Your Marriage
Ways To Work on Your Marriage
Before we get to the good stuff, there’s one important thing I have to share.
Every marriage out there will always be a work in progress. Always! Every single one.
Of course, these simple ways to improve your marriage will help you make positive changes to your relationship.
But our relationships are constantly growing and evolving. And we are also growing and evolving as people.
So, the journey to build that happy and healthy relationship you want, need and deserve is never-ending!
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Here Are 11 Ways To Improve Your Marriage
1) Stop Comparing
Comparing your relationship will do one thing. It will start you sliding down a very slippery slope.
You start looking at and evaluating other relationships. You see all the ways they are so much better than yours.
But you are forgetting one thing.
You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You do not know the ins and outs of another marriage.
I promise you that Pam and John down the street are not living a perfect happily ever after.
Every single marriage is a little bit dysfunctional. I know mine is.
Your time and energy should not be spent worrying about marriages that you are not a part of.
Put that time, effort, and energy into your own marriage.
2) Listen
Listening seems like an easy thing to do.
But this is more about how well we are listening.
Are we listening without interrupting? Are we listening to actually understand what our partner is saying?
In my marriage, we say we are half-listening. Basically, this is listening long enough to come up with a reply. And when we have our reply ready, the actual listening takes a backseat.
Half-listening sucks. It really does.
Think about how you feel when you know someone is not giving you their full attention. It doesn’t feel good.
Being a great listener is hard. But it is really important to work on this.
People want to be heard. They need to be truly heard.
The chances of you and your spouse listening to each other fully 100% of the time are very low.
But in general, we could all step up our games a little in the listening department.
3) Work on Yourself
Want to know one big way you can work on your marriage?
Start with yourself.
Take a look inside. Are there things you want to work on?
Personal growth will help you and your relationship.
Bring your best self to the table.
I highly recommend these personal development books! And I recently finished this one and this one and they are too good not to read.
Also, if you are a book person, this marriage book is my favorite! Here are a few more marriage books that will not disappoint!
4) Say Something Positive
Marriage is messy. Life is messy.
Some days, it may seem like one thing after another is wrong.
Picture this. Your spouse walks into the house from work. You give them a quick hello and then dive into a long list of things you dealt with today and things you need them to do ASAP.
I catch myself doing this quite a bit. I rattle off all the negatives of a day before my husband can even take his coat off.
The day-to-day mess of life is always going to be there.
But try to start your interactions with your partner off on a positive note.
And try to find little pockets of time throughout the day to say or even text something positive to your spouse.
5) Don’t Fight To Be Right
Fighting to be right is one way to be sure an argument goes on way longer than it should have.
It is so easy to become consumed with the idea of being right.
Believe me, I know this. We have all been guilty of this.
But there’s a big reason right and wrong don’t mesh well with relationships.
In relationships, more often than not, we are dealing with the thoughts, opinions, and emotions of two people.
So, you can see how the idea of right and wrong doesn’t really fit.
How can we tell someone they are feeling wrong?
Try shifting the focus to the actual issue. It can also help to focus on the goal you each have for the problem.
Attack the issue. Not each other.
6) Give a Compliment
More compliments.
Yep, it is as simple as two words.
Marriages need more compliments.
Try thinking of a compliment right now. Think of something you are going to say to your spouse when you see them.
Also, the more specific the compliment the better!
7) Set Up a Meeting
I’m a big fan of marriage meetings.
Does this sound like something glamorous? Heck no.
But marriage is not glamorous.
Set up a time every week to do a little check-in with each other. You can use this time to talk about important issues or plan for the week ahead.
Use this time in ways that serve your marriage.
Life can sometimes feel like it’s on cruise control. Think of marriage meetings as a way to pump the breaks.
8) Make a Date
If you are feeling disconnected in your marriage, try going on a date.
Dating will not make every struggle in your marriage disappear.
But I can always tell when my husband and I have been neglecting date night.
Date nights are one of those things that are easy to forget about. To be honest, I didn’t always think they were a big deal.
I was wrong.
Consistent date nights will only do good things for your marriage.
And don’t worry if leaving the house is not in the cards. These at-home date night ideas are here to help.
9) Throwback Thursday
Take a stroll down memory lane.
Think back to those early stages of your relationship. The days when others referred to you as love birds.
By the way, don’t just save this for Thursdays. Throwback Thursday sounds good. But any day of the week is a good day to bring up some good old “remember when” memories.
Look at old pictures. Talk about your first date.
Remind yourself what brought you two together in the first place.
10) Phone Free Time
If we are talking about ways to improve your marriage, we have to talk about technology!
I love my phone. LOVE IT!
And my husband loves his too. He’s always playing these slot games that drive me nuts.
But a while back, we had a serious talk about how much time we were each spending on our phones. We both agreed that it was way too much.
Phone-free time is so vital for your relationship.
First off, no one wants to be competing for attention with a dang phone. Secondly, nothing on your phone is that important.
Now, I know that some people need their phones for work. That’s fine. That would definitely qualify as important.
But checking social media or playing any kind of game are not things that qualify as important.
11) Celebrate Your Love
Don’t wait for a day on the calendar to celebrate your marriage. Yes, anniversaries are special and I am a big fan of celebrating them.
But don’t let that be the only time all year that you celebrate your love.
Write a love note. Give a cute card. Make a nice dinner and celebrate for no reason at all.
Celebrate your relationship right now!
My parents told me marriage was hard. But I thought my marriage was immune.
I mean, I didn’t think that things would be perfect. I was expecting disagreements and silly arguments. Those happened when my husband and I were dating.
But I may have underestimated the effort it takes to build a healthy and thriving marriage.
When it comes to ways to work on your marriage, I 100% practice what I preach! My husband and I actually have a marriage meeting tonight to go over bills together. Not fun but very necessary.
Take a look at your relationship and see which of these ideas could impact your marriage in a positive way.
Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your marriage!
What do you think of these ways to improve your marriage? Drop a comment!
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