What No One Tells You About Motherhood
Being a parent is hard.
This is something that is said all the time.
We have all heard this or most likely said this to someone else.
But this isn’t about how hard being a parent is.
This is about taking a peek behind the curtain.
This is about getting down and dirty with some real talk!
I remember being pregnant and everyone told me becoming a mama was hard but amazing. OK. That didn’t sound too bad. Hard and amazing. I could work with that.
And I had read every parenting book I could get my hands on so I thought I was in for a smooth transition.
The reality for me was that becoming a mother was hard and amazing. And it was also a boatload of other things.
Here Are 8 Things No One Tells You About Motherhood
1) Emotional Roller Coaster
If I know one thing to be true, it’s that parenthood is one long emotional roller coaster.
And the twists, turns, and dips are going to give you a run for your money.
On a daily basis, you can go from feeling on top of the world to feeling as if you have no right to be a mother in the first place.
You know what can help with this. More talking.
I think we would all benefit from more talking. More talking about the deep down gut-wrenching challenges that come with motherhood.
One way I manage my emotional roller coaster is by having open and honest conversations with close friends. Hearing someone say they understand and they are going through the same things is huge.
It makes us feel less alone.
We might not be able to jump off the emotional roller coaster that started when we gave birth. But it feels pretty good to know that another mom is riding that crazy coaster too!
2) Everyone is Struggling
When we are deep in the trenches of motherhood, it is easy to feel as if we are the only ones struggling.
One look at social media can confirm exactly what we fear to be true. Everyone has this motherhood gig figured out except us.
Maybe we know deep down that this isn’t true. But our minds can easily get carried away and create a story that has us feeling bad about ourselves.
Here is your daily reminder that no one is a perfect parent. No one has a perfect life.
People just do not always share the hard days. The negative thoughts.
But trust me those tough days are happening to everyone.
We have all been on the mom struggle bus at some point. I know I ride it all the dang time.
3) The Learning Will Never Stop
Books are one of my favorite things. I am always reading.
This, of course, means I have read ALL the parenting books.
I filled my brain with useful information. I wanted to learn all that I could.
Little did I know that I would be reading these books over and over.
We always think about kids learning and growing constantly.
But the same is true for us. We are constantly growing, learning, and changing just like our kiddos.
For me, books are a big part of that learning. But as we all know, parenting is pretty much a guessing game and we are all just learning on the fly!
4) Your Relationship With Your Partner Will Change
I mean, another human was added to the relationship so change is pretty much inevitable.
No need to look at this in terms of good or bad changes. Things just change.
It can take some time to get used to your new roles as parents and the new way you relate to each other.
One thing I can say is to try to be as kind as possible. When tensions are high, try to keep kindness at the forefront of your relationship.
Navigating changes in your relationship will go a lot better if you are both nice. I learned this from personal experience. And I learned this the hard way.
5) You Will Miss Your Old Life
There is nothing wrong with missing your old life.
I mean, I would think something was a little off if you didn’t miss being able to sleep through the night. Or if you didn’t miss being able to take a spontaneous weekend trip.
Saying you miss life before kids came along does not in any way take away from the love you have for your kids.
And I feel like that is often how we think. We think that if we reminisce about pre-kid life it makes us bad parents.
The simple fact is that it does not.
And if you want to have a good reminiscing session I am down for that anytime!
6) Tired Will Be an Understatement
This is one of those things that you were actually probably told.
But people did not emphasize this enough to me. Tired was just not the right word.
No one told me that I would literally have to peel my eyes open sometimes.
No one told me that tiredness was nothing compared to what I would be feeling.
Motherhood and exhaustion go hand in hand. It sort of comes with the territory.
But I wish someone had told me to let them know when I started hallucinating or falling asleep with my eyes open!
I felt like I should have been able to handle my tiredness a little better. It got to the point where I thought if I said I was tired I was complaining.
And how dare I complain when I have this beautiful baby. Now I look back and know this was all crazy talk.
7) Be Flexible
I am a planner. Planning brings me so much joy.
One of my worst fears is things not happening according to plan. Literally. It makes me nervous just thinking about my plans falling through.
When we have kids, we form an idea of how we want things to go pretty quickly.
We know what kind of labor we want and that we will definitely breastfeed. We have planned where baby will sleep and nap. The list is endless of choices and plans we make.
I am all about planning and making that plan a priority. But not at the expense of your sanity.
Planning and motherhood can definitely go hand in hand. As long as you leave a little bit of space for flexibility.
OK, I take that back. You need to leave a lot of space for flexibility.
It’s great when things go according to plan. It’s also great if that plan has to change a little.
8) You Are Going To Look at Everything Differently
This is hard to even explain.
Becoming a parent comes along and flips your perspective all around. And I mean that in the best way possible.
Remember when the Grinch’s heart grows at the end of the movie. It’s kind of like that.
I think your heart literally grows. I think your understanding and compassion for others grows.
Basically, all of your emotions get amplified.
Just the other day my husband and I were watching a movie where a child got hurt and it really bothered us. I mean, it would have bothered me before I had kids but it’s not the same.
It’s random things like this that happen after you become a parent!
Motherhood is so many things. And we should all be able to talk about these things. All of them.
Not just happy things. Being a parent can sometimes feel like rainbows and sunshine. But it can also feel a war zone.
I think talking about hard things more can make us appreciate all the good things more.
And every parent knows there are so many good things. Like tiny hands grabbing your cheeks. Melts my heart just thinking about it.
What is something no one told you about motherhood? Drop a comment!
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