Work on Your Marriage Every Day

Little Ways To Work on Your Marriage Every Day

work on your marriage every day

Marriage can often seem like a big-picture idea.

But it is time to rethink that. That’s where these little ways to work on your marriage every day come into play.

My marriage improved by leaps and bounds when I started to view it as a small-picture journey.

When I started to really pick apart the day-to-day interactions, that’s when the big changes started happening. 

I am a firm believer that marriages are built or broken based on the way you handle things daily.

Thinking about the long run is great. I mean, we all most likely get married with the long haul in mind.

But the road to long-haul journey success is paved with days. Lots and lots of days.

And our behavior toward our partner on those many, many days is the real bread and butter of better relationships. 

What can I do today?

This is the question you should be asking yourself. Just saying or thinking you want a good marriage is not going to make it happen.

I wish it was that easy. But any married person knows that is just not how it works. 

It’s all in the details. And when it comes to marriage, those details are all about habits.

What is going on in your relationship on a day-by-day basis? 

I used to always think of my relationship in terms of goals.

I want a happy marriage. A healthy marriage. 

I want to have a stable marriage. 

These are all great goals to have.

But what comes next? How do we make these goals a reality? 

We focus on the details. The little stuff. The tiny stuff. 

Thinking in small-term chunks will help you so much more than just having these massive goals in mind.

You have to break it down.

And that’s what these tips are all about.

They are about taking it one day at a time. Because that is what life is made of, right?

One day at a time. One hour at a time. Heck, one minute at a time. 

There is nothing especially grand or exciting about any of these ideas. And that’s for good reason.

Like I said earlier, the small things are the bread and butter of relationships. 

The small gestures, done daily are going to be the things that build that solid foundation we all want in our marriage.

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Here Are 7 Little Ways To Work on Your Marriage Every Day

1) Touch

In any marriage, there will likely be a season where both partners feel like passing ships in the night. 

You might be shaking your head in agreement right now. I know I am.

This season has popped up in my marriage a time or two. And in all honesty, it might again.

Maybe you are in this season now and you are desperate for a way to get out of it.

Have no fear. It is easier than it seems.

I know it doesn’t seem easy. Especially when you are knee-deep in this season and a way out is looking pretty unlikely.

But touching your spouse every single day is one of those small gestures that are sure to have a big impact over time.

A slap on the butt or a kiss on the cheek is not going to solve any issues in a snap. But it won’t hurt anything.

Sometimes we just want things to be better. That’s it. We want things better and we want that to happen right now. 

But what can we do to make that actually happen?

Make a point every single day to touch your spouse in some way. That touch is a connection. 

2) Compliment

Who doesn’t love a good old compliment? We all do. Compliments are a great little tool for giving your spouse a pep in their step.

I am not saying to gush over your spouse. I am not saying to praise the ground they walk on.

You just need to sprinkle some compliment dust throughout the day.

Say something nice about the way they look. Say something positive about the way they handled a situation.

You probably think nice things about your partner much more than you actually express those good thoughts you are having. 

Speak up. I promise you that your marriage will benefit greatly if you become the compliment fairy.

3) Put Your Phone Away

Phones are awesome. They just are. 

But you know what else they can be? An amazing distraction. 

Look up more than you look down.

You don’t want to miss your partner trying to connect with you because you are too busy staring at a small screen in your hands. 

Put your phones away. Every relationship is in desperate need of some tech-free time. 

In my house, we designate a time in the day when phones are put away. Notice I didn’t say off. I just said put away.

Out of sight and out of mind is what we are going for. You may need to put them somewhere you can still hear them. My husband has a job that he has to be available basically all the time. And I understand that. 

But that doesn’t mean he needs his phone attached to his hand constantly. 

When it comes to little ways to work on your marriage every day, this is HUGE!

And while those phones are away, why not bust open a book? 

That may not seem like a fun thing to do but please trust me on this. 

This book is amazing. It has changed my marriage for the better and I can not say enough good things about it.

It is all about the different ways people give and receive love. And every couple should get their hands on it. 

(here are some more stellar and must-read marriage books)

4) Ask and Listen

How was your day?

This is a question that all of us have asked. And all of us have been asked.

I don’t know about you but my answer to this question usually consists of one word. Good. Fine. OK.

We can do better than that. 

I make an effort to ask much more detailed questions. Questions that require more than a one-word answer. And then I listen.

What happened at that meeting today?

How did you handle that awkward situation you told me about yesterday?

These are actual questions I asked my husband within the last few days.

Talking is obviously a gigantic way we connect with our spouses. And I have found that asking and truly listening is the perfect way to build those deep connections.

5) Start With Good

When my husband walks in the door at the end of the day, I usually have a pretty big list of complaints I am ready to unload on him. 

That front door opens and the venting hour has begun.

The dog peed on the floor. 

Our daughter threw a fit because I cut her sandwich wrong. 

The cable was acting up again and I missed the last ten minutes of my show.

The list could go on and on.

But what if we started with the good? 

When your spouse comes home, what do you want that first interaction with them to be like? 

And how do you think they want that first interaction to go?

I am not saying to hold your complaints and frustrations inside.  This is not about keeping things to yourself.

This is about making those first words after a long day apart something good. 

Maybe you had a lot go wrong. OK. Definitely share those annoyances with your partner.

That’s what they are there for, right?

They are there to share the load. Well, that and to kill the spiders and fix the cable box when it messes up for the 107th time. 

The point is to try and make some of that load good stuff. 

Happy stuff. 

This is also a great way to work on yourself and how you view the world. A little gratitude will go a long way for your personal happiness as well as the happiness of your marriage.

*This gratitude journal can come in handy here.*

6) Surprise!

Make their favorite dinner. Grab their favorite kind of candy from the store. Buy them that new belt they have been talking about needing. 

This is really about doing something a little unexpected. 

Little things like this are great for your marriage. They show your partner that you are thinking of them throughout the day. 

And it always feels good to know you were on someone’s mind.

7) Don’t Correct Them

Are you the kind of person who thinks there is a right way and a wrong way to load a dishwasher?

If so, then you are my kind of people. 

This may not apply to every marriage but holy cow it applies to mine. 

I am one of those people who like things done my way. Now, I’m not saying my way is the one and only right way but I am saying that it’s the only way that doesn’t get under my skin.

My husband has expressed his annoyance with this a time or two. 

He is not on board with my need to correct the way he does something or the way he handles a situation. 

This takes practice on my part. But the simple act of biting my tongue has been a game-changer for my marriage.

If the way he is doing something is not hurting anyone, then my input is not needed. And I know that it is definitely not always wanted. 

For me, this has been a great lesson in teaching myself when and where to put my time and energy. 

The road to your dream marriage is going to be paved with many things.

Pain. Trials and tribulations. Joy. Excitement. Happiness. Sadness. 

The list is endless. 

You can’t change the past and you can’t predict the future.

But what you do have power over is today. 

What can you do today for your marriage? 

And always remember that a little heartfelt effort is going to take your marriage to the next level!

What do you think of these little ways to work on your marriage every day? Drop a comment!

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Little Ways To Work on Your Marriage Every Day

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