What I’ve Learned About Having Enough
Why the Definition of “Enough” Keeps Changing
Let’s talk about what I’ve learned about having enough.
This isn’t about me sharing words of wisdom that will change your mindset overnight. This isn’t about me setting concrete standards for enough and imposing them on you.
But thinking about what enough means in different areas of your life can change your perspective over time. It can change the way you navigate daily life.
I used to think having enough was something you eventually arrived at. Like somehow you would just know that enough was something you had conquered.
Enough money or enough success. Enough stuff or space. Even enough confidence or self-awareness.
In any area of life, we can set the bar for enough. Or we can feel like we will know when we have gotten there.
My Achilles’ heel here was that one version of enough could always be replaced by another. It wasn’t because I wasn’t grateful or appreciative of what I had.
But I think as our circumstances change or we grow, our idea of enough tags along.
Enough doesn’t usually present itself as a definitive thing and stay that way indefinitely.
I also think the idea of enough doesn’t need to clash with the idea of wanting more. It’s not as simple as knowing or feeling like you have had enough chocolate cake.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. And I am nowhere near having it all figured out. I actually don’t think I’ve ever consciously decided I didn’t have it.
In my life, it was quietly hanging out at the back of the class. Not demanding attention, but maybe still there waiting to be noticed.
These are just a few things I’ve been using as my baseline when the idea of having enough comes out to play.
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Here’s What I’ve Learned About Having Enough
1) Enough Is Not a Stagnant Idea
It moves. It changes.
I sometimes wish it was a fixed destination, but it hasn’t shown itself to be that way in my life.
One day it could be wanting more in your career and another day it could be wanting a bigger house. It could be wanting more time for yourself or more confidence.
And none of those things are wrong.
But enough rarely announces itself. It doesn’t magically tap you on the shoulder and say, “You made it.”
So navigating it can feel like murky waters. Like, where exactly is “there” anyway?
I’ve become more interested in questioning my own version of enough rather than simply doing anything to reach it.
2) Comparison Plays a Part
I don’t spend my days wishing I had someone else’s life.
But I’d be lying if I said my expectations didn’t take a hit from time to time. My imaginary measuring stick has a habit of changing when I see a beautiful home or see someone who seems to have it all together.
It’s not that I suddenly dislike my own life, but the “enough” thought bubbles start multiplying like rabbits. And I have trouble popping them fast enough before they cloud my judgment.
We can almost absorb other people’s lives or wants or needs as our own. There are too many tabs and we default to someone else’s.
It sounds strange, but it can be easier to fixate on someone else’s circumstances. (Perceived circumstances, by the way.)
A tiny glimpse of someone’s life we happen to see shouldn’t have so much power. And it’s not even close to a fair comparison.
But that doesn’t stop our brains from moving the goalposts effortlessly. It takes a little more than just hearing the words “stay in your lane.”
3) It’s About More Than Just Enough Stuff
The funny thing is, having enough stuff is one of the areas I struggle the least with.
I read this book a few months back and it really got me thinking about my buying habits and how much stuff I accumulate. I actually feel like it’s one of those books that you reread every once in a while for a little refresher.
It’s easy to think of enough in terms of physical items taking up space.
But it could also be wondering if I’m doing enough as a parent or showing up enough for myself. Working enough or resting enough. Am I giving enough time to certain aspects of my life?
Buying less stuff is great, but it doesn’t magically solve this feeling.
Most days, the question isn’t, “Do I own enough stuff?” It’s more about whether I think I’m doing enough, giving enough, or somehow being enough.
It’s pretty easy to declutter a closet. It’s much harder to declutter ideas and expectations we carry around in our minds.
I haven’t found a foolproof way to organize those types of feelings.
I’m just sure that comparison adds fuel to the fire a lot of the time.
4) Our Present Life & Future Life Don’t Have to Be Enemies
Enemies might be a strong word, but it feels fitting for how I was living.
I would be harsh with myself about my current circumstances and choices, believing that would get the job done. What job?
I actually have no clue.
Make my life better. Make me into some version of myself I thought was enough and had enough.
Looking back, I can see that criticizing my present life didn’t make me appreciate my future life more. Painting my present life in the worst light possible didn’t motivate me to get to where I wanted to go.
I sure thought it would be just the thing.
I’m trying to let my future goals inspire me instead of using them as evidence that my present life is severely lacking in some way.
5) Wanting More Is Absolutely OK
This had to be mentioned. Because sometimes we can become so consumed with being where we are and watering the grass in front of us that we can almost shame ourselves when that wanting feeling creeps in.
I used to feel like I was doing something wrong if I wanted a little change in any area of my life. How dare I do that when I have this beautiful life in front of me?
This is one of those areas that I think social media can heavily cloud your judgment. The internet loves extremes.
Here is a reminder that wanting more and appreciating what you already have are not opposites. They can coexist.
6) I Will Never Master This
I love things wrapped in a nice bow. I love to close the loop on things.
This is not one of those areas where that’s going to happen.
But I don’t want to get overly caught up in the rat race of always chasing something. I’m not referring to having goals and dreams. I support those wholeheartedly.
Enough is a fluid idea. It will change and present itself differently at different times.
The thing is…I don’t want it to be something that consumes so much of my energy and attention.
I want it to be something I notice more before it tries to run the show.
Maybe that’s the win. No loud, flashy finish line. Just some noticing and questioning rather than thinking of it as something we will cross off a list one day.
Final Thoughts…
I sometimes wish someone could give me an answer on this topic. Or maybe a book is out there that can make everything surrounding “enough” crystal clear.
Because the truth is, these ideas and thoughts can be a lot sometimes. They can feel like one more thing I am trying to manage.
I’m sure there will always be times I look back and wish I had made a different choice or that a season of life had unfolded a little differently.
That’s just part of being a human being.
I’ll probably always have moments where I wonder if there’s something better waiting around the corner. But I’m crossing my fingers and toes that those times become the exception and not the default setting I fall back on.
So maybe what I have truly learned about enough is that I will always be learning about it.
I’ll keep poking the bear. I’ll keep peeling back layers.
Giving these ideas room to breathe instead of rushing to wrap them up with a perfect answer has become much more appealing to me.
What have you learned about having enough?
You Might Also Like:
6 Things I Didn’t Realize I Was Chasing
5 Things I Slowly Realized Didn’t Matter As Much As I Thought
6 Expectations That Were Making Me Sort of Miserable
Why Do I Always Think The Next Thing Will Make Life Easier?
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