Things I Thought Would Change My Life (Some Did, Some Absolutely Didn’t)
The Things I Was Sure Would Make Life Feel Different
Let’s talk about some things I thought would change my life.
And that might sound a little strange, considering that most things do have some sort of impact on our lives. Change is sort of inevitable.
But there have been quite a few times in my life when I’ve been convinced that there was something on the horizon that would change everything.
Sometimes it was something big. Other times, it was surprisingly ordinary.
And like I mentioned before, some things have changed my life. Things have come around that have genuinely made life easier or better.
But it’s so easy to put an enormous amount of pressure on one thing to change how my entire life feels.
I’ve usually been wrong about that.
Because even when something does make a difference, it eventually becomes part of regular life. We adjust.
The things we were positive would change everything usually end up changing something.
I started to realize there’s a lot of space between those two ideas.
Here Are Some Things I Thought Would Change My Life
1) More Money
This one deserves some nuance because money absolutely can change a life.
I always used to be a little skeptical when people swore up and down that money was not important. My guess was that they had some, and that made putting less of an emphasis on money much easier.
And there is a huge difference between not having enough money for your basic needs and having financial security. There’s a very real difference between always having to brace yourself for an unexpected expense and having enough breathing room that every mishap doesn’t feel like a catastrophe.
More money can buy options. It is a massive stress reliever.
But this is about asking money to do a job it isn’t capable of.
I thought certain income levels would come with a sense of feeling settled.
Like there would be a number we would reach and then suddenly money wouldn’t be an issue anymore. I’d finally be smacked over the head with that elusive feeling of Okay, we’re set now.
Except that changes in income have their hands on other parts of life. Our ideas of what we want from life can change right alongside those dollar signs.
Money matters. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
I’m simply trying not to link money so strongly with this permanent feeling of satisfaction in life.
Money can solve a lot of money problems. I was wrong in assuming it would solve or change everything else.
2) Getting My Life Organized
I often think I missed my calling as a professional organizer. Can I dub myself the decluttering queen of Middle Tennessee?
I do think that organization in any form is a good choice. But I was very sure that getting all the moving pieces in place would change it all.
The right planner. A clean house. Systems that had everything running like a well-oiled machine. A schedule that was killin’ it.
Don’t tempt me with a good time. Those things are vying for the top spot in my love languages pyramid for sure.
I guess I forgot to factor in that I had to keep things that way and that life would continue to throw things my way that caused me to go back to the drawing board.
There is no organizational system that prevents life from doing its thing.
So many tasks in a household move in a cycle. They come back. And routines that work perfectly during one season can fall very short during another.
I will probably always love lists, and I’ll be rearranging closets until I’m 95.
But getting organized is not going to produce this lifelong change that never requires attention again.
3) Having The Right Home
Once upon a time, starting in 2020, my family moved three times in three years. It ended up working out great for us, but that was not my viewpoint when it was happening.
I forgot to mention we had just done a ton of remodeling on the home we had been living in.
After all that moving, I developed this need for our home to have certain features. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting certain things in a home.
But somehow I believed in my bones that having a kitchen island was extremely important.
I think I just loved the idea of a house changing everything. I wanted something I was picturing in my head.
More space. The right layout. Enough cabinets in the kitchen so getting a lid to a pan didn’t feel like going on a little adventure.
A home that works for your family can make a massive difference in your everyday life. It just doesn’t change or solve things indefinitely.
No matter how much shoe storage we have, my daughters still think anywhere on the floor is a good place for them. There are also still stressful mornings and sinks that fill up with dishes so much faster than I expect them to.
No matter the house, there’s still a regular life going on inside of it.
I think I lost sight of that at some point. Dang you, pretty pictures online.
4) Reaching a Goal
I am a goals gal. They get two thumbs up in my book.
I have always loved having something to work toward. And reaching a goal is incredibly satisfying.
This isn’t about minimizing that feeling of accomplishment.
The issue came when I expected accomplishments to provide me with this everlasting feeling.
Like somehow I thought reaching a goal would make all the mundane parts of life less mundane. Maybe I was picturing myself with bouncy hair in one of those feel-good movie montages.
You know the ones. There’s a nice little soundtrack going on and things are falling into place.
Real life has never given me the montage for very long, though.
The goal arrives. I feel proud and celebrate. And then it’s back to regularly scheduled programming. Hello, Tuesday.
Reaching a goal can and has absolutely changed things about my life. But it’s not always the monumental shift I expect it to be.
5) Time
Time definitely changes things.
But I used to believe that simply letting enough time pass would eventually bring me to a place where everything fell into place.
When you’re younger, it’s easy to imagine that there’s some point ahead where life starts to feel settled.
You get older and you check off some boxes. You figure it all out and build a life. Things all come together like the perfect recipe.
You just have to give it time, right?
And some aspects of looking at it that way are true in a sense. Time can give us perspective. Things can come together in some ways.
But time has never delivered me to the land of life is easy now.
There wasn’t an age when I stopped asking questions or when I solved the puzzle completely.
I used to feel bad that there are still times when I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I think I had my internal GPS set on an unrealistic and unreachable destination in the first place.
Apparently, there is no exit marked: 41 years old – no more issues in life.
Time brings about change. There’s no denying that. It just never handed me a finished product.
At least, not yet. And while I might be tempted to keep thinking I’ll get there, I think some other paths are looking much more appealing.
6) Becoming My Best Self
This one is sneaky because it sounds so positive. Of course, becoming a better version of myself is on my radar.
Growth is lovely. Evolving is great.
But at some point, it became this list that caused me to look at myself with harshness.
Be more this or more that. Stop worrying and let some things go more easily. Do better in all areas. (Preferably by next week.)
There was always something else I could add to this list.
There’s never going to be a version of me who graduates from being an actual person dealing with real life.
Are there things I handle or do differently now than I did five or ten years ago? Absolutely.
There are ways I have grown that make me really proud.
But my criteria for becoming the best version of myself was unrealistic. I’m never going to turn into someone who doesn’t have bad days or habits I still need to work on.
The regular, imperfect version of myself needs to make the cut. Or else I am going to be treating myself like a project that will never quite be there.
Final Thoughts…
I believe that all the things on this list can change our lives.
But here’s the rub…most of these things land somewhere in the middle. They have their feet on both sides of the line.
They do change something. Changing everything is just not in the cards.
Which one of these things I thought would change my life did you relate to?
You Might Also Like:
How I Stay Present Instead of Worrying About the Future
6 Expectations That Were Making Me Miserable
5 Things I Slowly Realized Didn’t Matter As Much As I Thought
How I Stay Grateful Even When Life Isn’t Perfect
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