How To Be A More Patient Mom
Oh dang. It happened again.
You responded in a way that was anything but calm. In simpler terms, you lost it.
Your patience tank was running low. You were actually just running on fumes. And now you feel disappointed in yourself. Bring on the guilt.
Ever think about how to be a more patient mom? Is there even a need to ask that. I’m just going to assume the answer is yes.
Parenthood. Talk about being pushed to your limits daily.
I always thought I would be such a patient mom. Yelling was not going to happen. I would handle every situation with a calm attitude. Anger was not the route this mama would take.
I had no idea what I was up against.
It is easy to say what you would or wouldn’t do when the situation is just a scenario you play out in your mind.
There is nothing like the real thing. Happening in real time right in front of you. All of your well thought out plans can fly right out the window.
Every single parent out there has run out of patience at one time or another. Yay. Something we all have in common.
Kids can push our buttons like nothing else can. It is a talent really. And I know that is not their intention. But it sure does feel like it sometimes. And remaining calm can be a huge challenge. A mountain-sized challenge!
Nobody wants to be that mom that can go from peaceful to on the verge of losing it in a matter of minutes. OK, it may only take a few seconds some days.
I don’t want to be the angry mom. The mom who jumps the gun and loses it all the time. The mom who talks to her kids through clenched teeth and eyes bulging out of her head. My mad face is not my best look.
Sometimes, these tips will save the day. Other days you will try them all and nothing will cut through the frustration.
We all have good days and bad days. We all have days where we are rocking the mom game. Days where we feel like full-blown parenting experts. The next day we may be thinking we are not even fit enough to be a parent. Mom life. Always keeping things interesting.
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Here Are 9 Tips on How To Be A More Patient Mom
1) Take a Mommy Break
Your heart is racing. You know you can’t take much more. Does this sound familiar?
Make sure your kids are in a safe place and take a mini mommy break. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself in a grown-up time out. Just a few short minutes can be all it takes to calm down a little. And then you can go back to the situation with a semi-fresh outlook.
Use this little mommy tool often.
Depending on your child’s age, you can tell them you need a break. I tell my daughter this. And I think it is a perfect way to show I am human and have strong emotions too.
2) Count to Ten (or 100)
This is my go-to method. I may have to count a little higher than 10 some days! This is like a stop, take a breath and focus on something else for a few seconds method.
When we are frustrated, we react quickly and maybe a little too harshly. Take ten seconds. Or twenty seconds. Just start counting and stop when you feel you can better deal with the situation.
It is a very small amount of time. But it is definitely time well spent. I would rather be counting than yelling.
3) Do I Have Unrealistic Expectations?
Are you expecting too much of your little ones?
I have to remind myself that kids have not yet learned how to deal with all their emotions. They have to learn that. And this is where we come in. We have had a lot of practice learning to control our emotions. We are all far from perfect. But we have more experience than our kids in that category.
Of course, my five-year-old wants to look at all the fun stuff in the check out line at the grocery store.
Yes, kids are going to have a hard time when they have to leave a playdate.
It is going to be a long process when they want to get their own shoes on.
There is no way my daughter is going to listen to my every word for an entire day. And you know why? Because she is a kid.
Kids are also allowed to have bad days. Just like adults do. Their goal is not to ruin our day. They are probably not even thinking about us. They are just doing their own thing.
4) Make Time for Yourself
When I have done nothing for myself and had absolutely no alone time I am on edge. Let’s just say my best self is not front and center. I am annoyed at everything. My cup is empty.
When I look back on a situation that had me aggravated, I often realize it had little to do with my child. It was me.
This is when I have to ask for help. I need a break. Maybe I just need to sit in silence for an hour. Or take a nap without little feet in my face.
Or go grab a coffee and do some window shopping.
5) Be Less Busy
OK some might read this and shake their head. How is this even possible?
Your time is valuable. And you have to be very selective about how it is spent. Especially if you are spread too thin.
It may just be that you have a lot on your mind. Your brain is overloaded. This is going to make even the smallest issues seem bigger than they are.
Try not to have so much going on that no part of your life is getting the attention it deserves.
6) What Would I Tell Someone Else?
Picture this. You are at a friend’s house. You see whatever behavior is driving your friend nuts. She asks your opinion. What do you say? My guess is you don’t tell her to just go crazy with her angry mom voice. Unless she is your very best friend and it has just been one of those days. Kidding. Sort of!
But you probably say something encouraging. You reassure her that all kids act like this from time to time. And then you may even share a little bit of wisdom from things you do.
Use the advice you would give someone else.
7) How is Everyone Feeling?
Are you hungry? Tired? Stressed? Is there something going on with you that is getting in the way of patience making an appearance.
When are the times that things get a little crazy? Try noticing this and adjusting accordingly.
This can help with discovering the real issue. And the real issue at hand may have a pretty simple fix.
Same goes for kids. Tired or hungry kids are like an entirely different species.
Now, there will always be days when someone just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. We all know those days. All I can say for those days is you got this! And I hope bedtime comes very quickly!
8) Pretend You Have an Audience
It is so easy to lose it in the privacy of your own home. But what about if someone was watching you? Would you react the same way?
My answer is a big fat NO!
Having an audience forces you to not be so quick to react. And be much more aware of the words you are using.
Just try it. Really act like someone is right there watching you very closely.
9) Let Some Things Go
Is this really that big of a deal? I ask myself this all the dang time. Sometimes, I get frustrated without even evaluating the current situation. It is like second nature to go to the dark side.
I think it is crucial to pick and choose our battles. I am constantly working on this.
Did you really need to get mad about that? Ask yourself this and you may be surprised by the answer.
And don’t worry, friend. There will still be plenty of times when anger or frustration are completely acceptable. Just try to be a little more aware of when you are leaning that way. Don’t let every little issue succeed in taking you to the red zone.
Kids are always going to have the ability to drive us bonkers.
Momming is not easy.
When all else fails, sing everything. No, really. I recently started doing this. My daughter either looks at me like I am a crazy lady or starts laughing. I’m fine with either of those things. Sometimes, she even sings back at me which is the best.
And singing allows me to be loud without any yelling involved. That’s a win in my book.
Ever feel like you are doing the wrong things over and over? Yeah, me too. I am right there with you trying to do a balancing act. And let’s be honest. It is a balancing act that will never be perfect.
I am not an expert at parenting. But I am an expert at trying. I bet you are too.
Have any tips on how to be a more patient mom?
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