23 Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse
How To Reconnect With Your Spouse
Do you want to reconnect with your spouse?
Wait, here is a better question.
Do you need to find some ways to reconnect with your spouse?
Let me know if any of these statements sound familiar.
You feel a lack of love.
Bickering more than usual.
You have that “off” feeling.
And this next one is something I think we have all experienced at some point in our marriage.
You find yourself looking at your partner as a roommate. Literally crossing each other’s paths and maybe exchanging a few words.
That is the worst. Once this happens, it can be hard to take the first steps toward getting things back on track.
We tend to think of big issues taking a toll on a relationship. But I think the day to day grind can be enough to put a few cracks in the foundation.
The daily interactions (or lack thereof) are the real dangers.
It is not always obvious that they are even happening. Until one day, it all hits you. And you start to question how the heck you got here.
When did you become too busy to smile or laugh? So quick to become annoyed. Your patience is basically non-existent.
You start to think about how to reconnect with your spouse before it is too late. Before your relationship has walked all the way to the very end of the plank. One little gust of wind and it is going down.
These ideas have helped my marriage. And they can help yours.
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Here Are 23 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse
1) Be Nice
How often are we quick to let the steady stream of negative word vomit come out of our mouths? For me, it is more often than I would like.
What if we were just nice? What if we just used basic manners?
This may seem obvious. But take a serious look at how you and your partner treat each other.
Are you truly nice to each other?
2) Hold Hands
I love holding hands. It takes me back to the days of dating. Back when my husband would hold my hand for very long amounts of time.
It didn’t matter how sweaty his hand got. He did not dare take that hand away.
After 12 years, he has become much more comfortable letting me know that his hand needs a break. But the point is not to hold hands for 3 hours.
Heck, it can be for 3 minutes.
I am not about to say you need to hug for 2 minutes or it doesn’t count.
But you need to hug.
A hug is a simple way to show someone you care.
When was the last time you kissed? Like really kissed!
Not just a quick peck on the way out the door.
Do something together that brings out those good belly laughs.
In my house, the go-to for some laughs is a comedy special on Netflix.
You can even try making a funny face to break the ice. That may sound silly but I’m telling you it works!
Give your partner a compliment. Simple as that.
This could be about appearance (my husband likes when I compliment his hair).
Or the way they did something. Anything!
We could all use that little boost that a compliment gives us.
Let your partner take the floor.
Do you ever feel like one person starts talking and then before you know it a full-blown competition has started to see who had a harder day? Who is more tired? Who wins the award for putting up with the most sh*t?
The one-up game has begun and it usually ends with neither person feeling very validated with their feelings.
One of the best gifts you can give someone is your full attention. Your ear for them to vent to.
8) Thank Them
The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. We were talking about how hard our husbands work and how much we appreciate it.
Then we started talking about how much we let them know these things. Let’s just say it was not too often.
Next time you are feeling thankful for your partner, try saying it out loud (to them of course).
9) Talk About the Past
Remember when. Two words that have sparked some of my favorite conversations.
Sometimes a good little reminiscing session is good for the soul.
10) Talk About the Future
Do you and your partner discuss your goals? Both personal and the goals you have together.
It is fun to talk about what you see for the future. And it is even more fun to compare the differences in what you both see.
How are you? Do you need anything? Can I help you with anything?
Make sure you are talking about more than how high the water bill was. Or how many times your child pooped that day.
12) Send a Sweet Text
I like this one because it takes less than a minute. This is an extremely simple and time effective way to reconnect with your spouse.
13) Put Your Phones Down
My husband and I have had many talks about how much we are on our phones. We always come to the same conclusion. It is way too much.
Set aside some time that phones need to be put away!
Your phone may be small in size but it can be like a wall in your relationship.
14) Play a Game
Boggle is a favorite in my house! A little friendly competition is good for your relationship.
15) Love Note
You could send a love note in a text. But there is just something about a love letter on paper.
16) Plan a Date Night
Date nights are necessary.
Check out these ideas for at-home date nights. These are great when leaving the house is just not an option.
But every once in a while you need a date night out. These inexpensive date nights are sure to please!
This does not have to be a grand gesture. I mean it can be. If that is how you roll.
But I am more referring to making a favorite dinner or stocking the fridge with your partner’s drink of choice.
A little surprise that says you were thinking of them.
Physical touch can easily dwindle away in relationships.
I think it is often one of the first things to go away which is such a shame. Physical touch is so vital for a thriving relationship.
Get your cuddle on.
Have a partner that is not a huge fan of cuddling? This is the boat I am always in.
But if it is something that is important to you, then it needs to happen (even if it is only for 5-10 minutes).
Sit on the couch (or lay in bed), put something on the TV and just relax.
Sometimes, you have to enjoy the silence. And enjoy just being in each other’s presence.
20) Be Honest
OK, I know my relationship is not the only one that has some assuming going on.
Maybe your partner is going through something at work and hasn’t been completely open about it. Maybe you are having an issue and haven’t shared it.
This can cause us to assume how the other person is feeling. And many time we are wrong. We have blown something out of proportion before we even know the details.
Being open and honest can work wonders. And it can definitely clear up some misunderstandings!
21) Show Support
Having someone in your corner is one of the best parts of being in a relationship.
You and your spouse should be there to root each other on. Even if you don’t completely understand or agree with what they are doing.
22) Slow Dance
What was your wedding song?
Play it and make your kitchen the dance floor.
23) Leave a Note
I like to put a post it note on my husband’s wallet. The bathroom mirror works great too.
Even a note on the front door is a nice touch. Then the last thing they see as they are leaving the house is something that makes them smile.
Now, these things will not magically solve every single marital issue.
But feeling more connected is a great place to start. And when you feel truly connected, I think it makes it easier to imagine taking on anything together.
Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your marriage!
Show me a marriage that is always cruising along down easy street?
Spoiler alert. There isn’t one.
But the only relationship you need to worry about is your own. And you have the power to make it any way you want. You and your partner of course! It is not just on you to make it work.
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