How To Build Trust in a Relationship: 8 Necessary Tips
Dun. Dun. Dun.
Ready to talk about the “T” word? We are talking about trust.
More specifically, how to build trust in a relationship.
This can be a touchy subject.
Is there trust in your relationship? Do you work on trust in your relationship?
Do you tend to cross your fingers and just hope it is there?
But what happens if it is not there?
A lack of trust can wreak havoc on a relationship. Slow havoc. Picture a crack in the foundation of a home. It keeps getting worse and worse and one day your house gets sucked into the ground. Major disaster!
It’s OK if your relationship could use a little work. You know what? I truly believe every single relationship out there could use a little work. There is always room for improvement.
It doesn’t get much better than having full trust and feeling secure as heck in your relationship.
It takes effort. Of course! But the payoff is well worth it!
When it comes to trust, the saying “it takes two” has never been truer.
So, with all of these tips, think about if you are demonstrating this behavior and if your partner is doing the same.
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Here are 8 Tips on How To Build Trust in Your Relationship
This seems like it should be able to go without saying.
Building trust is not in the cards without honesty!
And this runs deeper than just not telling lies. Real honesty is all about being able to be open and honest about anything and everything.
Dishonesty is like a dagger to the heart of your relationship.
Check out these ways to improve communication!
2) Stick to Your Word
This is a big one for me. I am huge on sticking to exactly what you say.
Be careful with your words. They have power. Treat them that way.
Follow-through and reliability are everything.
3) The Little Stuff Matters
Ever thought that there was no harm in telling a tiny white lie? No harm in being 85% honest?
Hate to break it to you, but there is some harm there.
Think about it this way. If you are not honest about the little things then why would someone believe you when it comes to the big things?
Any type of dishonesty will take a toll on your relationship.
Be predictable. Be dependable. Show up for your relationship.
There is no room for a wild card in your relationship.
Things may not always go exactly according to plan. If a change is going to happen, just make sure to communicate that.
5) Talk About The Hard Stuff
I think being a little uncomfortable is part of the process when it comes to building trust.
You are going to have to talk about the things that you would rather sweep under the rug. Those things that take a little gumption to bring up.
Every single person is different. NO DUH, right?
This is where things can get a little shaky. You and your partner may view things very, very differently.
It is crucial that you come to the table armed with good listening skills and respect for one another’s feelings.
And also come without a plate full of assumptions. We all know that saying about assuming, right?
6) Don’t Double as a Detective
If you are always looking for something to be wrong, you will find it.
EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I think that some people have a more positive outlook when it comes to trusting. While others may have their skeptical spectacles on! This could be due to something in the past. Or maybe they were a detective in a past life.
Your mind may go wild and create an issue out of thin air.
I fully support having deep conversations. Asking questions. You can call me the question master!
Things can start to go downhill, however, when every conversation starts to become an interrogation.
Approaching with heavy judgment right from the get-go may not have the outcome you were hoping for.
7) Don’t Play Hot Potato
Do you remember that fun little game? Well, the concept of that game is the opposite of what you want in a relationship. No passing blame back and forth.
You have to take responsibility for yourself. If you and your partner are busy just tossing blame or tossing issues back and forth, how much solving is actually going on? None.
And how much trust do you think is being built? (also none)
To some, apologizing is an agonizing process.
There are two people in your relationship. And neither one is perfect. A mistake may be made. (scratch that.. mistakes will be made)
It is crucial to take full responsibility for something that was done. Hold on to that hot potato!
8) Move on
OK, maybe some crappy stuff happened. I understand. We have all been in some sort of situation that involved someone not being 100% honest.
But here’s the thing. You need to move on.
And if you can not move on then you are not over it.
Strive to get to a point where the past is settled. You have accepted it.
Here is a little bonus tip!
Working on your relationship is an amazing thing.
But never stop working on yourself.
Make sure to check out this article and this article which are all about personal growth.
(These personal development books are some of the best around!)
Trust is a key player in any truly healthy and successful relationship.
I remember being young and naive. Thinking that love was all it took to make a relationship work.
Safe to say marriage has taught me a thing or two. And one of those things was the fact that trust is not just a want in a relationship, it is a need. A gosh dang necessity!
It is a big piece of the puzzle. So, what happens if it is not there? Well, you have a puzzle with a big empty space.
Maybe make some tacos (my favorite “T” word) and have a kick-butt conversation with your partner about trust. Can’t go wrong when you start with tacos, am I right?
Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel for a deeper look at ways to help your marriage!
What are your thoughts on how to build trust in a relationship?
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